Every discussion we have spawns more discussions so here we go again.
I'm gay and extremely active in the queer community with a lot of friends in activist circles who are trans, genderqueer, bi, pan, and so on. Literally until Femboy Hooters I'd never even come across the term. Here's what I think I see and y'all tell me if I'm off.
Femboys themselves seem to mostly be gay boys, although some are potentially trans eggs waiting to crack, but largely they seem to be comfortable with being gay and cis and male. They all seem to dress up pretty hardcore in feminine clothes and wear make up, but they're not drag queens or genderqueer, or they don't identify as such at least.
What's weird to me (yet still makes sense) is that the vast majority of people attracted to them are straight guys. As one dude said, "Men make better women." So of course there's the overtone of misogyny there. I've been approached before by straight men asking me if I'd be willing to wear panties or take hormones or get a tit job, but I hadn't really thought about it until I saw the preponderance of femboys out there in the world. Now how can I say these guys are straight if they want to fuck a cis man? Pretty simple, they don't see me as one. They see me as a woman who they want to feminize more.
I tried looking at the etymology and history of the term but there's nothing much. I did uncover a trove of femboys who hate trans people and who also differentiate themselves from what they call tr^ps. If you hate trans people your gay card should get revoked automatically so fuck them, but it seems to confirm my suspicion that this seems to have a misogynist bent to it. This may just be a label for the types of gay guys I knew who were very feminine and liked to date straight men, who treated them like garbage and both of them had really conservative personal politics.
But I don't know and I want to learn so tell me what's up, I'm old and I need my porridge.
Being terrified of the social consequences of enjoying something doesn't eliminate the root desire for said thing
No but that's why I'm shocked by their boldness in expressing desire for them, because it's fairly open of them.
No it's not? That's like saying Steve Bannon is "fairly open" because he enjoys Sichuan food.
No I mean they're openly saying they want to fuck femboys.
yeah and my racist uncle openly says he enjoys tandoori
he still hates POC
You're mistaking my use of the term open for like, being open minded. I mean like they're saying it out in the open. That doesn't mean they respect women or femboys or gays or anything. They just wanna fuck 'em.
I was at first, but not after your last comment.
It's no different than saying you like Chinese food. Chynabad nuke Beijing but I'll still eat some har gow
Mostly on the internet, yeah. Hence not really so open.
But even the ones who are pretty open IRL, it's just like Chinese food.
Also you're not accounting for the submissive/dominant perception of being gay. Straight men don't perceive topping to be anywhere near as gay as bottoming.
Let me take a step back. My confusion is that straight guys are saying they want to fuck guys. Regardless of their feminine look, it's been my experience that straight men are super homophobic and would rather gnaw their own arm off than be seen as gay. So I'm still surprised, despite all of the exceptions, that they're saying they'd fuck a guy.
I read it as a positive sign that things are changing and people are getting more open minded. Then again, I might just be projecting from the straight-ish perspective .
ok, I get it. I just don't see that as a surprise.
I feel like it's similar to white guys admitting they would sleep with black women. Except that change probably happened sometime in the 70s or something