You're all going to hell.
Removed by modAsk God for forgiveness, confess belief in Jesus Christ, and accept him as Lord and Savior. Saying a salvation prayer is the first step in your relationship with God.
Repent and say the following:
Dear Lord, I admit that I am a sinner. I have done many things that don’t please you. I have lived my life for myself only. I am sorry, and I repent. I ask you to forgive me. I believe that you died on the cross for me, to save me. You did what I could not do for myself. I come to you now and ask you to take control of my life; I give it to you. From this day forward, help me to live every day for you and in a way that pleases you. I love you, Lord, and I thank you that I will spend all eternity with you. Amen.
I have also crafted a special prayer to help Stalinists regain favor with god:
Dear Lord, Please forgive my wicked ways. I gave into temptation. I coveted my neighbors possessions. I confess to this sin. I renounce the false religion of communism and condem the false prophet, Karl Marx. Amen.
Ask 👏❓ God 🙏 for 🈺 forgiveness, confess 🚇🚪🌘 belief 🏻 in 👏 Jesus 🙏 Christ, ✝ and accept 👍 him 👴 as Lord 😇🙏 and Savior. 💾 Saying 🤢 a salvation prayer 🤲 is the first 🥇 step 👞📈 in 👄📥 your 😥🏼 relationship with God. 🟣 Repent 😇 and say 🔥 the following: 👣 Dear 🔆 Lord, 🙇 I 👀👨 admit that 😩 I 🤔 am 😊😊😊 a sinner. I 👌💰 have ✊😤 done 🔨 many 🏼💯 things 🕑 that 👉👑 don’t 🙅 please 🥺👉👈 you. 👈 I 👩 have 🈶 lived my 😊😀 life 💀👻 for ❓ myself 🙋 only. 🤏 I 😊 am 👏 sorry, 😲 and I 🤔 repent. 😇 I 😎 ask 😩🤗 you ☝🏻 to forgive me. 🤠 I 🙋♂️ believe 🙏 that ⏪👀 you 👈🏼 died 😵❌ on 🙂 the cross ⛑ for 👏 me, 🏻😐👿 to save 🦎 me. 🙆 You 👈 did 🦎 what 🙌 I 🙀 could 🤔 not 📵 do 👏🏼 for 🅾️ myself. 😫 I 🙍🚫 come 🅰️ to you 👈👈 now 👋✊ and ask 👏❓ you 🤟 to take 👊 control 🤔🎮 of my 🤗 life; 👨 I 🙍🚫 give 🎁 it to you. 😀😀😀 From 🍭 this day 🚨 forward, ⏩ help 💁 me 👀 to live 💣 every ☝🏼 day 👀📆 for 👻 you 👊 and in 💦👆 a way 🐾 that 🍆 pleases you. 👉🏼👴🏿 I ☁️ love 😹 you, 🚶 Lord, 👑 and I 💰👀 thank 🎺🤗 you 🉐 that 😚💶🚅 I 🙄 will ✍️✍️ spend 🎈 all 💯 eternity 🌋🆎💅🏿 with you. 👈 Amen. 🤗✋😇 I 🧔🏽 have 🙋 also ➕ crafted a special 😉😩😜 prayer 📿 to help 💁 Stalinists regain favor 🤝 with god: 😇 Dear 🈚 Lord, 👑 Please 🙏 forgive my 😊 wicked 🖤 ways. 😃 I 🔫 gave 🎁 into 🚟👉 temptation. I 😊 coveted my 😊 neighbors 🏡 possessions. I 👈 confess 🚇🚪🌘 to this sin. 😈👹 I 💃 renounce the false ❌ religion 🕋 of communism 🇨🇳 and condem the false ❌ prophet, Karl 😍 Marx. Amen. 🤗✋😇
Unfortunately, everyone who lives under capitalism goes to hell so we have an ethical duty to create a communist world, the only system that will allow people to have free will over their afterlife. Please review the documentary, The Good Place.
KennethCopeland
Where's the cajoling for money? This bit could use some work honestly
Dear Jesus: I admit that I am a shidder. I have eaten many things that cause grease poo. I have shidded my doodoo ass and wipe myself only. I am fardy, and I repent. MY ass is for you to shid me. I believe that I ate taco bell to sustain me. You shid what I could not shart for myself. I waddle to you now and ask you to take control of my life and shid out my doodoo ass for me.
there is no god but Allah and Mohammed is his prophet
Death to America
Nice bit to name yourself after a prosperity gospel ghoul and say it's the communists who are covetous. Well played.
During the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, Copeland claimed that the pandemic had ended or would soon end and that his followers would be healed from the virus. He stated that followers should continue paying tithes if they lost their jobs in the economic crisis that the pandemic caused.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Copeland
prot churches ive been to the donations are optional and especially optional for people in financial difficulty:shrug-outta-hecks:
I alone shall defend Jesus Christ with knife so sharp it makes cheeses slice.
Actually the Zoroastrians got it right, please quick pray to Ahura Mazda or your eternal soul is doomed
my bonfire and corpses on the roof are actually religious praxis, officer
Jesus and I like to 69 :)
Edit: how can Christians claim to be close to God when they've never even cum in his mouth?
