that's terrible and i'm so sorry that happened to you. it might be helpful in processing it to type it out as if you were going to post it here, but going into it with the knowledge that you don't actually have to post it. making yourself phrase something as if you were telling it to people can help you make sense of it in another way and that can be very valuable, at least from my experience. you're strong and you'll get through this and i truly wish you all the best ✊