If the post-nut feeling is clarity, then what does it say when that clarity involves you being disgusted by your partner to the point of not being able to look at them? I’m not saying they have to be turning you on with equal intensity before and after sex. Hell, I even experience sex repulsion sometimes after sex. But that’s an aspect of my sexuality and the natural fluctuation of hormones that occurs around sex, not an attribute of my partner. And they like cuddling after sex. That’s a need they have and I’m happy to meet it even if I’m sex repulsed because the point of cuddling after sex is not to be sexy.
Even if we are very generous to the Twitterers and insist that they’re conflating beauty with eroticism… the point of cuddling isn’t always sex. Your partner’s in one of the most vulnerable positions in life, as are you. To then go online and talk about how unattractive they are is intensely unempathetic and in this case betrays misogyny.
If the post-nut feeling is clarity, then what does it say when that clarity involves you being disgusted by your partner to the point of not being able to look at them?
I don't know, what potentially traumatic event could lead someone to have negative feelings about sex or a sense of shame around it?
And they like cuddling after sex. That’s a need they have and I’m happy to meet it
That's great. You both seem to be happy in that regard. Now imagine if your partner said there was something inherently wrong with you if you weren't okay with cuddling sometimes. Imagine if your feelings on the matter were considered secondary and indicative of a moral failing rather than personal preference or a deeper emotional issue.
To then go online and talk about how unattractive they are is intensely unempathetic and in this case betrays misogyny.
"I feel like an animal" does not equal "My partner is ugly." It sounds like to me they're not blaming their partner at all but themselves. We can make the abstraction that post-partum depression doesn't mean you hate your child because brain chemicals can be fucky. But a man having problems after sex must mean they secretly hate their partner.
I had one partner who experienced this kind of dysphoria after sex, but it wasn't something they thought was normal and they got counseling and we worked through it. Unfortunately it cropped back up with their later partners as well.
These individuals probably are experiencing something similar and I hope they get help, it definitely is indicative on internalized misogyny that they don't even consider it something with possible redress. It's just normal to them. Nobody would consider it normal unless their peer group and socialization are totally fucked.
This is exactly the point. The people in the post are speaking as if all relationships are cishet and making generalizations about how all men view their partners after sex.
CW: SA
I can’t speak for the person you’re responding to, but the casual unspoilered mentions of SA in this thread have me triggered af so I’m logging out of this account for a bit.
If the post-nut feeling is clarity, then what does it say when that clarity involves you being disgusted by your partner to the point of not being able to look at them? I’m not saying they have to be turning you on with equal intensity before and after sex. Hell, I even experience sex repulsion sometimes after sex. But that’s an aspect of my sexuality and the natural fluctuation of hormones that occurs around sex, not an attribute of my partner. And they like cuddling after sex. That’s a need they have and I’m happy to meet it even if I’m sex repulsed because the point of cuddling after sex is not to be sexy.
Even if we are very generous to the Twitterers and insist that they’re conflating beauty with eroticism… the point of cuddling isn’t always sex. Your partner’s in one of the most vulnerable positions in life, as are you. To then go online and talk about how unattractive they are is intensely unempathetic and in this case betrays misogyny.
I don't know, what potentially traumatic event could lead someone to have negative feelings about sex or a sense of shame around it?
That's great. You both seem to be happy in that regard. Now imagine if your partner said there was something inherently wrong with you if you weren't okay with cuddling sometimes. Imagine if your feelings on the matter were considered secondary and indicative of a moral failing rather than personal preference or a deeper emotional issue.
"I feel like an animal" does not equal "My partner is ugly." It sounds like to me they're not blaming their partner at all but themselves. We can make the abstraction that post-partum depression doesn't mean you hate your child because brain chemicals can be fucky. But a man having problems after sex must mean they secretly hate their partner.
I had one partner who experienced this kind of dysphoria after sex, but it wasn't something they thought was normal and they got counseling and we worked through it. Unfortunately it cropped back up with their later partners as well.
These individuals probably are experiencing something similar and I hope they get help, it definitely is indicative on internalized misogyny that they don't even consider it something with possible redress. It's just normal to them. Nobody would consider it normal unless their peer group and socialization are totally fucked.
This is exactly the point. The people in the post are speaking as if all relationships are cishet and making generalizations about how all men view their partners after sex.
CW: SA
I can’t speak for the person you’re responding to, but the casual unspoilered mentions of SA in this thread have me triggered af so I’m logging out of this account for a bit.