This is a burner account cause it's kinda embarissing and such. Sorry for the slightly rambliness.

I'm currently in my first long term relationship ever (1.5 years). I had felt like I was missing something from my direction of our relationship (enough attention) a few months ago. We talked about it and it mostly feels solved at this point. I hadn't really noticed the same feeling after that point, but I met a person recently who has made me reevaluate my feelings. I met this person and I realized I haven't had anyone in my life before now that really "got" me. (I have also been crushing on this person a little bit, everyone is aware of this but we are perfectly happy just being friends). I currently believe that that kind of feeling is what I am missing from my current relationship, as my partner (who works two jobs) only has limited ability to understand and relate to my interests. I've also been a bit frustrated lately because my partner doesn't have a very robust support network, besides me. Most of this is down to their autism (I am also autistic) and having multiple jobs and health issues which drain them pretty badly. I love them so much and I'm not sure what to do. I plan to talk to them about this but I'm really not sure what should even be on my mind.

Please help a really confused hexbearer who feels too old for their lack of relationship experience.

  • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    It sounds like you're in love with the idea of the other person, and not the person themselves. How do you know that they "get you" if you barely know them in the first place? Just be careful with stuff like this, and be aware of your feelings and any rose tinted glasses you might be wearing. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

    As for your partner, if you want to continue with them, do so and cool things down with the other person. If not, that's more complicated. Just at least give them the basic respect of breaking it off with them and not cheating.

      • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        That doesn't mean much long term. Sure it's great when you're starting out in a friendship or relationship for these things to fall into place, but you'll only truly know someone with time.

        Someone can have "good politics" and still have a trashcan of a heart. Personality is very hard to gauge over a few meetings, you actually need to spend an extended period of time together and maybe even live together, even if it's just for a few days, to properly know someone. It's easy to score points on superficial jokes over a couple of meetings, but how are they on the day to day? They could be straight up miserable.