How do you feel when a guy is kind of clingy and possesive? I'm the jealous type and I get suspicious and anxious women im dating or want to date don't message or text me back right away.

I often wonder if I have some type of borderline personality disorder, im so immediately afraid of abandonment. Like immediately I assume the worst if I'm not messaged or texted back right away.

Erroneous and somewhat misogynistic thought often says that women are the ones who are clingy, im here to tell you this is not the case lol. I'm just as clingy and workable moreso than any women I've me

I've gotten some good advice in other threads I've made, but I'll be more specific here.

  • MerryChristmas [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I could definitely be projecting but I think this is a result of internet brain. You get used to the dopamine kick from all the constant little notifications and so when you don't get an immediate response your brain thinks something is wrong.

    For me, the solution is to spend less time online/texting and just call people when I want a reply. I also sometimes get overwhelmed texting people back so I try to remind myself that there are plenty of other people who feel the same way.

      • MerryChristmas [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Definitely. I somehow forgot this thread was about texting with romantic interests as soon as I started typing so that advice was meant more generally.

    • StellarTabi [none/use name]
      ·
      2 years ago

      if I didn't reply instantly to your 400 texts in a row what makes you think I have free time for something as interruptive and intrusive as a phone call? that better be an emergency, not a habit of boredom/anxienty.

      • FearsomeJoeandmac [he/him, he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Yeah I don't do this. Just wanting to clarify for everybody I do not send 400 texts in a row. With my last girlfriend it was like one and then I'd quit bugging her but still be anxious in the back of my mind.

      • MerryChristmas [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I skip the 400 texts part. If they don't answer the phone I follow up with a text like:

        "Hey, this is merry, just calling about _______! Get up with me when you can."

        I stopped texting out of boredom because I hate how it interrupts the flow of the conversation.

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
      ·
      2 years ago

      no yea the expectations for relationships were definitely way different across the board when the only way to talk to someone was to call them on their phone at home or just knock on their door.