How do you feel when a guy is kind of clingy and possesive? I'm the jealous type and I get suspicious and anxious women im dating or want to date don't message or text me back right away.

I often wonder if I have some type of borderline personality disorder, im so immediately afraid of abandonment. Like immediately I assume the worst if I'm not messaged or texted back right away.

Erroneous and somewhat misogynistic thought often says that women are the ones who are clingy, im here to tell you this is not the case lol. I'm just as clingy and workable moreso than any women I've me

I've gotten some good advice in other threads I've made, but I'll be more specific here.

  • TillieNeuen [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I would resent being expected to be constantly available and quickly responding no matter what I'm doing. If I'm busy, I'm not looking at my phone. There's a good chance I won't even see the message till hours later. Being in the position of having to choose between 1) constantly checking my phone so my SO won't get pissed if I don't immediately respond or 2) ignoring my phone as usual and expecting to have a fight over suspicion/jealousy later would frankly end the relationship for me. You're turning yourself into a chore and lack of trust is a dealbreaker.

    It's good that you're self-aware enough to know that you have an issue. I really encourage you to work on it with a therapist if that's something you can manage financially. Remember that your SO isn't a possession, she's a person with just as many interests and distractions as you. She isn't at your beck and call whenever you choose, she isn't an NPC that stands still with no thoughts until the player character initiates a conversation.