Conservatives being sad they can’t drink piss any more.

:frothingfash:

“noooo don’t gay up my piss! I’m so thirsty!”

  • KobaCumTribute [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Pilsners are just such a dogshit style of beer. I remember seeing some nerd give a breakdown of the history of the American corporate pilsner industry on r/askhistorians a month or so ago that was defending it with "well actually, it's very hard to make a clean tasting pilsner because there's nothing to cover up the taste of foul byproducts or suppress their formation, so these often maligned corporate beers are actually doing something special by making it palatable" and it's just like no shit, that's why it's such an awful style and no, the fact is those huge breweries can't make it well either, there's always that foul taste of slime and rot beneath the cheerio-like overtones.

    • constellation [none/use name]
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      I like Pilsners. I've drank a ton of "good" beers, and I always come back to Pilsners. They're just good beers. To hell with "oatmeal stout" or "chocolate doppelbrau" or "cherry ice cream sundae IPA". Besides the weird taste, these beers make you full after two. Beer is just liquid bread, remember. I can't drink enough to get drunk!

      Lagers too. Boy, they're great. Sure, the corporate beers suck, but have you ever been overseas? The locally made beers suck too. Sometimes the beers are fake. And God knows what's in them, even in the name brands sometimes they put formaldehyde. I got to where even at the "we have 100 beers from all over the world" bar, I would specifically seek out Made In USA Bud Lite. It was just so refreshing to drink something light, like chilled iceberg lettuce in beer form.

      • KobaCumTribute [she/her]
        ·
        1 year ago

        Besides the weird taste, these beers make you full after two. Beer is just liquid bread, remember. I can’t drink enough to get drunk!

        I have that problem with pilsners: I cannot drink enough of it to get buzzed, because it has next to no alcohol and just ends up way too heavy since it's foamy bread water. The only beer I even bother with at this point is a particular 9% IPA that's fairly cheap, in every grocery store around here, hits like a brick, is still somehow light enough to drink without feeling sick, and is just about the only beer I've ever tried that actually tastes clean without any of those foul undercurrents. Anything less alcoholic than that and I just feel sick trying to get buzzed because there's just too much carbonated fluid for a given amount of alcohol, and my system eliminates the alcohol faster than I drink it (no idea how that is supposed to work, because my tolerance has just gone up even though I rarely drink and have lost weight over the years; I lost close to a third of my bodyweight over my twenties, stopped drinking regularly, and my tolerance went through the roof in the process even though the exact opposite should have happened).

        Sure, the corporate beers suck, but have you ever been overseas? The locally made beers suck too.

        Out of the imported beers I've tried, the only decent one was a German doppelbock I can't find around here anymore. I've had way more luck with local breweries around here, but even there I just don't risk trying new beers anymore because too many are just not worth the price and I can't afford to do more than grab a six pack a few times a year anyways.

        I would specifically seek out Made In USA Bud Lite.

        Weird. Every time I've ever had a budweiser it's tasted like it's been left open in direct sunlight for a week. It and Heineken are the only beers that seem to consistently come pre-skunked.

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
        ·
        1 year ago

        Fr, MY TUMMY HURTS WHEN I DRINK HOPS! It's probably due to a lot of alcoholism, but an ipa from most craft places tastes like if I just grabbed shit from a forest and blended it with an okay beer and feels like a fucking sword fight

      • Mindfury [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        To hell with “oatmeal stout”

        these beers make you full after two. Beer is just liquid bread, remember. I can’t drink enough to get drunk!

        you say this, but one can/pint of good imperial stout will blow your dick off because it's like 12% +

      • BodyBySisyphus [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        It was just so refreshing to drink something light

        May I introduce you to our lord and savior the gose?

    • SoyViking [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Pilsners are just such a dogshit style of beer.

      No. Pilsener is the people's beer.

      Plenty of good pilseners exist and even a cold mediocre standard pilsener is an excellent thirst quencher on a hot summer day, an excellent pairing for all sorts of food and a nice and uncomplicated part of working class activities for generations.

      • RedQuestionAsker2 [he/him, she/her]
        ·
        1 year ago

        Was waiting for the inevitable "thing is good because the working class consumes it" assertion.

        It happens every time someone says McDonald's is shitty, too.

        • SoyViking [he/him]
          ·
          1 year ago

          The working class consumes pilsener because it's cheap, refreshing and easy to drink which is three things that makes it good.

    • HexbearGPT [comrade/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      German Pilsner is pretty good usually. Tastes like liquid bread.

      American corporate Pilsner tastes like cancer mixed with dog shit.