Burner account but I swear I'm a real person here. Hopefully I don't thoroughly dox myself but I'm in my thirties and have, for the first time, been forced to use the dating apps. I hate them. However, I (a cis guy) matched with a vegan, communist (based on profile) woman around my age and now I'm banging my head against a wall trying to think of like how to start a convo? I'm so old and stupid, irl I'm not really that worried about meeting people but this is messing with me.

Edit: to clarify, I am also a vegan communist

  • Heisenbear [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Don't ask them out right away.

    Having things in common is good but they'll probably want to chat with you for a little as a sort of litmus test first. Aim for around 5-20 messages back and forth, depending on how long and meaningful they are, before asking them out for something casual.

    • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I don't know online dating etiquette that way. That is a lot of having to message, dang.

      Edit: this may also be a thing...punks are slutty and that's the crowd I run with. I actually can't recall a relationship I had after age 17 that didn't begin with fucking.

      • Heisenbear [comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Everyone's different but you're doing yourself a favour by playing it safe. Many people are going to be put off by you asking them out too soon, fewer people are going to put off by having a short conversation first. If they can't be bothered to have a short conversation with you then they probably weren't going to agree to go out with you in the first place either haha.

        • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Fair play. Having two pretty big things in common that are pretty good indicators of where you stand morally and socially etc as well as those two things let alone both at once like the vegan commie combo could probably speed the process up. If that's the norm then just take out the second sentence, but I'm pretty sure with the vegan communism commonality, OP can just be excited about that commonality as annixe breaker and the ball will probably roll faster than average. Both being vegan alone is a huge dinner date or any future time you may end out eating together relief at the most superficial level.