Burner account but I swear I'm a real person here. Hopefully I don't thoroughly dox myself but I'm in my thirties and have, for the first time, been forced to use the dating apps. I hate them. However, I (a cis guy) matched with a vegan, communist (based on profile) woman around my age and now I'm banging my head against a wall trying to think of like how to start a convo? I'm so old and stupid, irl I'm not really that worried about meeting people but this is messing with me.
Edit: to clarify, I am also a vegan communist
I tried the cursed landscape of both OKcupid AND Tinder in its early days. Neither were good.
Eventually I got set up on a blind date and that was it. Speak to your family and friends guys, for real. Online dating apps are trash.
Iirc the tinder, okc and one of the other big ones are all owned by the same company lol
Speak to your family and friends guys, for real.
I do that, they refuse to help me. :/
"It'll happen for you" "You have to love yourself first" "It will happen when you're not looking" "Be yourself :)"
TBF to them it's more "We also don't know anybody that's available/interested", so like. It's not quite so patronizing.
Dating isn’t any more fucked up now than it was before. No one is forced to use dating apps
No one is forced to use dating apps
some say it's much harder to meet people to date offline now that so many people are just using the apps --> less people doing things IRL where they might meet eligible dates
I can't say whether this is accurate or not since I'm basically a hermit who hasn't had a social life for my entire adulthood
say this line: "oh woops, I dropped my monster condom, that I use for my magnum dong"
go get em king
Message me her messages and I'll tell you exactly what to say as a love expert.
Honestly I think a lot of these chat message conversations are just luck. The time of day you catch the person, what mood they're in, how tired they are and so on all play a pretty major factor into the outcome of the interaction.
What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't feel bad if it doesn't work out.
Oh and also remember that you're not just there to convince people to date you but you're also there because you have standards too. It's a two way thing.
talk about your interests, and not your job.
say "hey comrade" cause id bet nobody says that. lots of times some kind of question off the bat is good, don't say "hey." gotta stand out in some way.
I always send them a picture of one of my favorite potato varieties! Yukon gold is the way to a girl’s heart, I tell ya that much!
I know this sucks to hear but you should accept that you might bomb out and it probably won't be your fault. Online dating doesn't have the familial vetting process that IRL dating has, which means women gotta be paranoid.
An more positive spin to this is to assume it's probably not gonna work out and just try your best. Just send that shit, find out what does or doesn't work, get comfortable in the saddle again.
Absolutely. Dating is 100% a numbers game. Get in there, it's worth it. :left-unity-4:
I find the most effective strategy is confusion, just pretend from the first message you're already in a relationship. Ask them to pick some stuff up on the way home, tell them their sister called and won't be able to make it for dinner, let them know your fleshlight is dishwasher safe and ask if you could clean it in the dishwasher.
Speak to her in the sexiest accent known to man, Italian. Here, I'll give you some basic sayings.
"HELLO! IT'S-A ME, MARIO!" Translation: "Hello. How are you this fine day?"
"OOOOOH MAMA MIAAAAA!" Translation: "That is not good."
"YA, WAH, YAHOOOOO!" Translation: "I find you attractive and wish to have sexual relations"
*THANK YOU SO MUCH-A FOR TO PLAYING MY GAME!" Translation: "Thank you for the sexual relations."
I definitely think I can incorporate more "YAHOOOO"s into my life
God dammit im at this show and just burst out laughing and fuckin everybody looked at me :ooooooooooooooh:
Violently purging the bourgeois makes for a good first date idea
A friend of mine opened with "I eat ass on the first date" and he's engaged to that person now so YMMV.
I feel like you gotta be very hot but also in a casual, fun way to make these types of brazen openers work because there’s a 0% chance any woman would find that funny if I sent that message
