This is the second time this has happened in the past six months (and it's happened before that too). I've explained to them to not give our personal information willy nilly. How to spot phishing emails. Always check the actual email address. If you're on a website, see the actual URL. Contact the store directly. Don't not reuse passwords. I've set up things to make it easier for them as much as I can.
But I'm feeling so lost now. I lost my temper today. I know I shouldn't have done so. Obviously, they feel bad. We've locked the card and contacted the bank. They'll send a replacement. It's done, for now. But I know their information is out there. Their phone numbers, address, probably even their passwords.
It's like fighting a losing battle, hoping they never make a mistake that'll cost us thousands, if not more.
Scam them first and manage their accounts for them. It sucks but at some point you are the captain now
tell them you can trim their armor and after they trade it to you hop worlds
Assuming that you are in the US:
- You need to make sure all of their credit is frozen with the three major credit agencies, so that no one can open an account in their name.
You should also consider a freeze with Chex Systems (used by banks to open accounts a lot) and Innovis (the 4th credit bureau).
I would suggest that you do not give your parents the passwords to these freezes. Make them call you to do a temp lift if they want to open an account.
- You need to get a free credit report for each of your parents.
https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action
- Go through and check the spending on each account on their report for more fraudulent activity. Change every password to a different password on each account and/or get them a pasaword manager.
Be sure to fully document every step, and record dates of freezes and unfreezes, PINs set up, etc. It's not a lot of info to keep track of, but it's vital.
How old are they? Past their 60s? They probably have dementia. If so you should get them diagnosed and talk with an attorney about what you can do.
My family has a history of dementia so this is... definitely possible. This will be a very awkward conversation that I don't feel ready for.
Don't worry. They probably won't remember it. But get em to a dr to make sure.
install adblocker on their pc if you haven't already. there are more comprehensive antivirus software too which keep up to date with new phishing sites by analysing html content.
In addition to freezing their credit like @mkultrawide mentions, if you watch Kitboga with them, they'll get to see what the most common current scams are, since they're watching someone get (almost all the way) scammed. After one of my parents got scammed out of a few hundred dollars (at least I was told it wasn't more than that), I watched a few of Kitboga's top YT videos with them. Seeing it happen to someone else seemed to make scammers' methods sink in with them (which they probably would not have had the patience for if they had not just been scammed), and they haven't gotten scammed in the years since.
I'll probably watch Kitboga again with them soon to keep it fresh
If Trump or DeSantis wanted to win an unlimited term presidency (lord knows the democrats have no interest in that), all they need to do is run on an "I will unleash the full force of the US intelligence apparatus on various scammers and shut them down" plus ending junk mail and robocalls.
Can't happen though cause half that "generates economic value" or whatever
scam them out of their money first so they have none left to lose, go earn that inheritance
It's hard, but the best way to get it through to them is to emphasise that any attempt, no matter how legit looking, to ask you for things over the internet is exactly the same as a shifty looking salesman showing up to your front door and asking for your social security number and bank account details after you join their latest tupperware pyramid scheme.
Always tell them, "there is another person at the other end of this transaction, imagine why they want you to do the specific things they're asking you to do. Would you do this in real life or over the mail?
That's a good strategy. I don't want to stop them from buying things online, just that they go through legitimate means. Don't fill random surveys. If someone says they'll give you the latest Airpods for 9.99... don't believe them.
I find it's particularly hard if the parent grew up in a depression or otherwise economically difficult circumstance. A lifetime of cutting coupons and entering sweepstakes to make ends meet is hard to overcome.
But if they stop thinking of the internet as Walmart and start thinking of it as a particularly dodgy flea market full of pickpockets and insurance scammers that can help.
If it's just the card, that's not a huge issue. Card scams happen all the time and are super easy to fix (even your average restaurant card swipe can easily be data-jacked by a disgruntled employee) to the point where re-imbursement is basically automatic, not even needing to prove that you didn't purchase the item or service if it is under 10,000 dollars. It doesn't even lower your credit score and in fact can increase it because it means that you are actively using your card and other credit services even with risk. It's literally a calculated risk of doing any card transactions in the current market-space. There is very little that your parents can do to prevent it from happening.
Having social security info out there is another, much larger issue. If people are able to take out loans or credit in your name over 10,000 dollars, that is where issues come in, as the need financial investigators to verify previous purchases, which can sometimes become a multi-year clear up process.
My parents did spend $4k on scams in the last 2 years. I hope it gets better, but I am not that sure. Funny enough that is about the same amount of cash that they gave my sibling when they went to university.
The individual gift limit is 17k, so they could be transferring $35,000 a year to the very secure Bank Of Offspring.
I imagine they're over 65, so just cut them off from shopping on the computer. They made it 40 years without it, and they've shown they don't have the skillset necessary to use it, or the ability to learn. Stop it now and permanently. It sucks, but only a little compared to the losses they could accrue.
My grandma tried wiring several grand to my "cousin" who called and said he had gotten a DUI on the other side of the country and needed bail money.
The only reason my grandma didn't send the money was that the Western Union employee stopped her.
So a friend of mine did effectively construction scams. He was hired by a construction company to sell renovation work to elderly people. He would go in and do high pressure sales and then do demolition work right there so they would have to follow through. It's fucked up and he felt awful but it was the only work he could get at the time. He made the comment that was in the vein of that he was in poverty and they can't hold on to their money so it was something he had to do. I'm not trying to excuse his actions or anything and he continued to live in poverty even with that job. I guess what I'm trying to say is that exploitation happens on both sides. I'm sorry to hear what is happening to your parents and I wish we didn't live in this system. There is a real sentiment that if you can't hold onto your capital then you don't deserve to have it, but that should only apply to capitalists and not people who are just trying to get by.
I converted him a few years later. He now calls me every 4th of July to sing the soviet union national anthem.
you scam them first then hold their money in a trust and give them some whenever they need it.
they will think you are so generous.
