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Born too late to be a dock goon for the mafia.
Born too early to be a space pirate.
I signed up to be a gooner and I thought I would be cracking skulls and intimidating people. Instead the boss wants me to touch my wiener? WTF?
Da Boss wants your wiener nice and moisturized ya hear? Would be a real shame if you stroked it hard and fast and some white stuff shot out, capiche?
I found a YouTube link in your post. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy: