No preamble today, you all know what this is by now. As I sew a Cthulhu patch onto my vest, I just wanted to check in with my favorite comrades! This is your space to talk and vent!
A lot of you remember that show I had last week with the people who don't like me. It actually went pretty horrible for my partner, not so much for me. I walked out during the performances of the people in question, and the 3rd person just walked right past me without saying anything, and I had my best friend with me so it ended up being a fun, drunken/high evening for me, in some respects.
My partner tho...one of the performers (who I fucked things up with) had a mental break right before the last act, was screaming and crying about how they didn't wanna do it. I can't help but wonder if my presence played a part in that. Partner isn't holding the break against them, but they haven't reached out since to say anything at all about it. My partner produced and directed the show, so they won't be inviting them back. On top of that, they ended up losing money on the show that they worked hard for, and they found out that some other people in their community were trying to poach the venue, which upset them. ON TOP OF THAT - they're coming off Lexapro, so it hasn't been an easy week.
Beyond that, I've been making new friends, some of them from Hexbear, some of them from Lex. Talking with someone right now who is spitting Marx quotes at me and I'm just like....oh yeah, let's fucking do this. Had a GREAT day on Saturday doing mutual aid work and then hanging out. My partner seems to be working on us doing ENM/poly stuff in a positive way, so that's cool. Band practice tonight, rest tomorrow, and then back to distributing food on Saturday.
Hope you're all well!
good in all the things that are within my control. a year into transition I'm really feeling more confident and self-assured than I ever have and more of a willingness to actually take care of myself then I've ever had.
but in terms of things I can't control... my very conservative brainwormed in-laws were at first okay with my transition (probably because I'm NB/transfemme so can still boymode around them), but one of their relatives asked them about my wife having they/them in her instragram bio and they freaked and now think I am forcing Gender Ideology on my wife, that we shouldn't have kids while I'm "figuring things out" (which, like, I wasn't planning on it, but they've been forcing the idea of kids down our throats for years so suddenly this has been the one thing that made them reconsider), and now my MIL is starting to tell other family members - without consulting me on whether I want her to tell anyone or not, how I would phrase that, if that's a conversation I should be having, and what the point of telling them is in the first place considering I boymode around family... so like what's the difference anyways other than I have better skin, longer hair, and a more bulgy chest? I just want to yell at them to be normal but they read shit like the Epoch Times so I'm worried they are past the point of reasoning with, and we might just have to cut them off entirely one day.
but everything else outside of that rules so I'm happy that the bad shit in my life isn't my shit at least
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ugh, sorry comrade, that's some real sicko shit to have to deal with, but I'm glad you're able to stay positive too :) i just don't understand what goes into people's brains to make them this way.
Glad you're keeping positive about it! Hope your folks come around. Sending love and solidarity :meow-hug: