My dream GF/BF

• part of the new gentry class and eligible for the title of viscount of saint francis of california with parasitic earnings above 500k a year
• physical features generally ascribed to human beings
• unwilling or otherwise unable to sign a pre-nuptial agreement
• a personality of some kind which proves they are alive and able to enter a marriage contract
• likes getting divorced
• disappears when someone turns on the lightswitch