I'm at a point in my life and development where my job requires that I tell people what to do - not so much as a supervisor but still giving people commands. It's made me so uncomfortable because I'm terrified of becoming like this. I remember how fucking annoying it is to have someone come through, critique they way you do things and change how you operate. I guess I was unhappy otherwise and it was just another thing. I was so apologetic for having to put ripples into the pool. People close to me have recently talked to me about how I need to act like the big boss comrade, stop saying um, stop undermining myself, etc. I hate it and I feel gross. But as people entrust me with bigger projects and have faith that I teach people some of the knowledge I've accumulated over years that people show up to obtain, it seems like a healthy step to take instead of just shrinking back from it.