for me pages are loading the same but posts take forever to go through
so the admins are going to only federate with lemmygrad at first, so you will be able to subscribe to lemmygrad comms with your hexbear account and make posts/comments, and viceversa for lemmygrad accounts
How does that work? Do you have to sign in over on lemmygrad or do you have to search for the lemmygrad stuff via hex bear?
When that happens you should be able to find their communities under the communities tab, and view their posts when you view by all on the front page.
Basically, how it works right now, you put the server name at the end of the community. So from a lemmy.ml account, browsing lemmy.ml, you can go to, say, https://lemmy.ml/c/socialism to go to a local community, and https://lemmy.ml/c/communism@lemmygrad.ml to go to a Lemmygrad community. Then you can subscribe, comment, vote, whatever.
The short version is that using your current account you can access the content of another website and comment on it, as if you were a member of that other site.
But your home base would be here.