I really desperately need a job right now and I'm not even getting interviews at fast food places.
It's really starting to look like I'm going to have to just lie my way into having a better resume. I have no moral problem with this, but I'm worried I'll be asked to verify things. I did some volunteer work for a library when I was in high school one summer. This was like five years ago. Would I have any problem if I extended that couple months out to a couple years?
Mostly I'm worried they'll call the library themselves to verify. It seems unlikely to me that they would still have a record of this, but I'm not sure.
Get 2 friends to register for one of those apps that give you a second phone number, like Google voice, Talkatone, etc. Or buy them each a burner phone.
Then make up two past jobs and list those numbers as your supervisor. If you're worried about getting caught, make them out of your area and say you just moved back. If the friends are not comfortable bullshitting, they can just say, "Our company policy says we can only verify dates of employment". Which is really a thing some employers do. Or just not answer the call. A reference with a phone number that never picks up is better than no reference at all.
I've done this twice, and only one job even bothered to call. Most shit job workplaces don't call references, they just assume it will be a good reference.