I was led to believe by all the TV sitcoms of the 80s that I'd wake up one day in my 40s, everything would feel totally different, and then I'd take long walks and be thoughtful about stuff, buy an overpriced motorcycle and dye my hair badly. I'm solidly into my 40s and I just worry about climate collapse, becoming homeless, and my partner's health. I honestly wish that becoming less attractive was something worth worrying about.
I like this take. Midlife 'crisis' is more you finally have enough money and security to just blow it on something incredibly stupid you never would have a decade ago cause you couldn't afford to act like a dumb teenager anymore.....until you can a little bit again if you're privileged enough.