Because I think my worldview is so far removed from the average person’s it almost scares them away. Like the details in very minute things are just non-existent from their worldview, they don’t realize how harmful it actually is (long way of saying systemic
Now, I realize most people don’t look at the world like this. But it’s extremely hard for me not to. Leftists might be the only people who would be accepting of painfully ND (hi) people like myself.
Most of my friends are centrists, and I think that’s a bit of a problem
When someone is wrong in other situations, do you still get an irresistible urge to correct them? Because if so, I don't think it's necessarily a leftism issue - I'd imagine you run into this in other areas of your life, as well?
Ignore me if I'm misreading you, but I'm autistic and I can very much relate to that. I think the first step is learning to tolerate people being wrong about the things you're less passionate about. If you work a shitty job, for instance, that's a good place to start. Let your boss make some dumb mistakes without your input and let them deal with the consequences. Take notice of the way you are personally impacted by this - chances are, it will be minimal. You just have to deal with an annoyed manager, but that happens all the time for any number of reasons outside your control. Or if you're in school, take the C on a group project and just focus on your piece.
A lot of times these sort of confrontations are labelled "differences in opinion" when they really aren't. That's okay. Don't force it. If you're not going to succeed in convincing them - or if success comes at a great cost to your own credibility - then just move on and let them think whatever they want. One misinformed person isn't going to make the difference between revolutionary success and defeat, so don't sweat it if you meet some "here's how Bernie can still win" losers. Maybe there's something you can learn from them or some other benefit you're missing, and if not, maybe they'll be a vehicle to a group that is a better fit.
And lastly, neurotypicals just don't seem to view organizing the same way as us. I don't think they'd admit it, but it seems like it's more important for them to work with people that they like than with people who will further their goals. That means you have to be sort of likeable to fit in... and that involves not correcting people all the time. Save it for the times when you know it can be impactful and you'll do great.
Nah see I really don’t, I’m just unable to know which decision is the right one to make in every social situation ever. I don’t usually make it to the point of talking about things I find interesting because I’m too busy thinking about how people will react in response to what I say/do
Well then I got it completely wrong. Do the opposite of everything I said. Let yourself take up more space and remember that people getting annoyed or whatever doesn't physically hurt you (even though sometimes it feels like it). You might find yourself correcting people more and becoming the person I described, but there's nothing wrong with that either as long as you can find a way to be comfortable with whoever you end up being.
I just feel like I have the type of autism that most normal people can just “ignore.” It’s almost like I live two different lives because I am hyper aware of the fact that what I find interesting most people do not, which ends up with me having few friends in real life. Because friendships are fiduciary for the most part and if I feel like I’m not getting something from someone, I will inadvertently cut them off. Like I truly make it a rule to not let my “real self” be perceived by anyone because doing so has hurt me deeply in the past. Which leads me to believe there is no place for people like me in the real world. Exhibit A is how the above word salad would most likely be explained in a few sentences by a normal person. But I make every problem bigger than it has to be. And this is where finding a space with people who share my values comes into play because I need someone to accept me for who I am.
I just can’t make sense of myself at all because I’m usually told autistic people enjoy routine and are easily over stimulated, but I crave new experiences/stimulation and only resort to routine when I get hurt. And that seems invalid in my view because it doesn’t fit the typical criteria for autism
Oh man, I actually connect to this so heavily. I don't know if that helps or makes things worse to know that someone else has been through it, but this is exactly where I was at a couple years ago. There were two things that helped me start to feel like I could be myself: giving in to my special interests and doing trauma-informed therapy. These days I still don't have a lot of real-life friends but the ones I do have see a much more real version of me.
I am very happy this resonates with you. It really does make me happy to know there are others out there who feel the same way about life. I sort of alluded to it on one of my other posts, but when I’ve shared my feelings with people in this way I’ve scared them off. The only time I can talk like this is when I see my therapist and that’s only twice a month because I can barely afford it.
I’m usually bullied online when I make these posts elsewhere but it doesn’t really bother me because all that’s being perceived are my words; completely different story when it comes to real world interactions and I have to worry about how everything I’m saying makes people feel. Because then I’m afraid I did something to make them feel uncomfortable. I guess what I really can’t seem to get over are the people who use the language of inclusivity but never follow through when push comes to shove
And I’m guessing you can see this isn’t so much a leftist thing as it is a problem with how I (and many others) fit into a hierarchy. I remember trying to get involved with leftist groups in college but never really met anyone because there was very much a high school clique dynamic I couldn’t fit into. Not sure if this part is relatable, but as I get older, I realize this sort of hierarchy is everywhere and I’m still desperately trying to find my place
What happened for me was at some point I realized that nobody else was going to save me. I could be as kind and non-confrontational as can be, but when I bring up my problems - especially as they relate to neurodivergence - I'm always met with that same reaction you described. So while my natural inclination is to put others first, I'm having to consciously remind myself that it's not productive to expect reciprocity and that I can't be of much help to others if I'm drowning in my own shit.
Over the past year especially I've been working on not taking responsibility for other people's emotions and it is a challenge, but it's incredibly freeing when you can pull it off. Say what you want and if people don't react the way you hope then find some other people to say it to. Maybe it's a rotating cast and you never find the right group to call home, but at least you get to take the mask off, you know what I mean? I'd rather have honest conversations with strangers than pretend to be someone else with my friends.