I'm about to perform my first trick. If I could have a participant from this website raise their hand or come on up to the stage.
I'm serious guys. I've shackled all the doors shut with wellusionist-proof handcuffs and I'm not going to unlock them all simultaneously with my eyes closed and back turned unless someone participates in my act.
For my final trick I need another business owner who's not afraid to step into this very real, very solid (smacks the side of it) guillotine.
Ah I know how this one works. I'm never in any real danger! This will surely shake up the X-Sphere!
I'm done with that person. For my next trick I need someone who makes minimum wage.
Excellent. For my next wellusion I'm going to put your minds back together. Using historical dialectics I actually knew SodaBitch was going to be here today. So I invited their boss up here. Come on up, Bossman!
Hey everybody. I just really love small businesses and metaphysical thought.
Oh wow, Bossman. I had noooo idea. I really was sick when I left work early, heheh.
Hahaha, I see you're more of an illusionist than myself, SodaBitch. Now, YourBelovedBoss, take out your wallet with all your cash that you own.
It's empty. All my money's gone?
turns wallet upside down and shakes it a little visibly
SodaBitch, take out your purse and show and tell the audience if you notice anything unusual.
Exactly! That's the surplus value that your boss has stolen from you over the past 4.125 days! On top of your wage they had you work roughly twice as long throughout the day to pay their own "wage" in the form of profits! I made it appear through wellness magic and dialectics back into your own wallet.
Oh wowwww. This is great. But aren't wellusionists supposed to never reveal their tricks?
That's just your average, fascist illusionist. Us wellusionists don't need to hide our magic because it's real and observable all around us, all the time, through dialectical materialism.
You can call me anytime you want.
has slipped my business card with phone number already into her wallet
Finally! God damn. Worst audience of my life.
Step right up here please and say your username and pronouns.
Look at the tiny text I've put above your post. To the right of your avatar image.
