How are teens going to know they can fuck each other put the hot foreign exchange student changing in your bedroom on webcam to broadcast to your friends, but accidentally email it to the whole school so everyone can see it, only wow, what? She finds your porn mags and starts masturbating to them? Wow Jim you better get over there and chuckle wink wink offer her a hand!!!! And then you do and it... sorta works? She asks you to strip for her. You try throwing your clothes over the webcam to prevent anyone from seeing this but it slips off. Then she asks you to come close. Oh boy this is it!!!! Jk you cum in your pants the moment she touches you.
You face no consequences for your serious violation of her privacy, but she gets sent home over it. But somehow in the next movie she's still into you actually? So you spend all summer waiting on her, and start "practicing" for her with the band geek you boned after prom that one time. Except over the course of the summer you realize that your real feelings are for said bandgeek, so you end up rejecting the forgein exchange student for the band geek. The exchange student, disappointed to lose out on her dream of fucking a nerd, ends up taking the virginity of the turbo-nerd who's obsessed with the Terminator movies.
A decade later and some change, you're at your highschool reunion. You and your band geek wife have had some drama over you having an incredibly weird and creepy situation with the barely legal girl you used to babysit who is obsessed with you. But you just made up and are getting it on in the band room! But for some completely inexplicable reason, here's the exchange student! And her date is a guy who looks weirdly like you. You have an awkward exchange. There is literally no logical reason why she would just walk into the band room and catch you it makes no sense its the most contrived excuse for a forced cameo ever. Also she's still not mad at you for violating her privacy!
If Jason Biggs can't tell them.
Sorry the American Pie movies, including the shitty spinoffs, are weirdly a lowkey special interest for me I needed to info dump.
an incredibly weird and creepy situation with the barely legal girl you used to babysit
I have a powerful need to infodump further about this bit. Its one of the most bizzare and creepy storylines I've ever seen in a piece of media and it needs to be explained to the fullest.
A major subplot of American Reunion (maybe not even a subplot, it drives a lot of the main story) is this weird situation between Jim and the girl he used to babysit, Kara.
So near the start of the movie when Jim has just come to his childhood home for his highschool Reunion. When he gets there, we are treated to a slow motion, male gazey shot of a young, attractive girl slow jogging to her boyfriend's car. Its actually appropriate use of male gaze because guess what, Jim is ing the fuck out of her. She notices him and runs over, and low and behold, this young girl is the same girl that Jim used to babysit when they were both younger! And she's all grown up now! (This was never mentioned in previous movies to be clear). And whoops, turns out the girl Jim was ing is actually still 17, because she tells him she's having her 18th birthday tomorrow and he should come! She's very excited to see him btw and gives him a hug and shit. Jim declines to attend this party because he promised to spend time with his wife Michelle.
Later as the gang are hanging out at the beach, there is an incident where Oz's model girlfriend is sunbathing topless, and a group of teen boys (including Kara's boyfriend) steal her top and run off and escape on jetskis. The gang gets revenge on the teens when Stifler shits in their cooler of beer and then ties their jetskis to the gang's car and drives off with them, wrecking the jetskis.
The gang decide to go off to an old hangout spot at a more private beach the tourists dont know about type thing. Michelle can't come because Jim and her have baby, but encourages Jim to go. When they arrive, oops, there's a party going on. And then this AWFUL exchange happens
Jim: Looks like a highschool party.
Fan Favorite Steve Stifler: really excited WITH HIGHSCHOOL CHICKS
Ah yes, the desirable goal of thirty something men, highschool girls
Anyway, the gang decides to hang out for some reason. Also this party is Kara's birthday if you didn't guess. Stifler spends the whole time trying to skeeve on the children by sharing a bong with them and pretending to be into Twilight, but gets owned when his boss calls him, demands he does a project, and the girls bail on him during the call. The girls seem to think of him as a hilarious clown to use for laughs kinda.
Anyway Kara gets massively drunk at her birthday. And oh no! Her boyfriend was supposed to drive her home but something happened with his jetskis :( . So she asks Jim to bring her home. And Jim reluctantly agrees not wanting her to drive herself home. On the ride home Kara acts... well like a drunk teen. She goes "wooooooo" while hanging out of the top window thing whatever those are called. Then she claims she's hot and takes her top out and we get the requisite female topless nudity of an American Pie film. And while the actress is of course a few years older, its noteworthy that the character literally JUST turned 18 that day.
Anyway... turns out that Kara... ALWAYS HAD A CRUSH ON JIM. And wow! Wow! She wants him to "be her first". We are not playing on any weird fantasies of the people who are old enough to have been teens when the American Pie movies came out at all here folks! Reminder that she's topless for all of this. Jim is of course awkward everyman about it and tries to turn her down nicely. But then, distracted by Kara's nudity and seduction attempts, Jim crashes the car and Kara hits her head and gets knocked out in his lap. John Cho's character from the first movie, famous for popularizing the term "MILF", drives by and stops asking if Jim needs help. He notices that someone is in his lap, and assumes its Michelle. And thinks Jim is getting road head from Michelle. Nice! John Cho is organizing the reunion by the way. He gets a much larger part in this movie (though still a fairly small one overall) because Cho is a star now.
Anyway Jim is now desperate to figure out how to get this drunk, topless, knocked out girl home without getting in trouble with Michelle or Kara's parents. So he calls up the buddies. But oops! The main buddies bring Stifler. Jim is angry but Stifler points out that "while you guys were jerking off I was running this play every night baby!". They come up with a plan. Jim and Finch will sneak Kara through the back door while Stifler and Oz pretend they need to use the parent's phone. Lmao whoops, seems they made an error because its 2012 now and everyone has cell phones now so the parents are confused why they would need to use their phone. But as luck would have it, Oz's run on what is basically Dancing with the Stars with a different name has made him famous and Kara's mom is actually obsessed with him! So they invite Oz (and Stifler) in.
While Oz and Kara's parents have an awkward exchange, Jim and Finch try to get Kara through the back door. Michelle ALMOST SEES THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW because Jim's kid sees him and says "daddy!". But they manage to dodge her. The blanket covering Kara comes off while they are trying to get through some bushes. The drunk Kara tells Finch that he likes his scarf, and Finch, who has mostly avoided being a creep so far in this film, says "I like your breasts". Cool.
Anyway, Jim manages to get her upstairs but... some shit happens because she is drunk and Stifler is an asshole. Stifler sees her going upstairs naked and wants in on this, so he says he needs to go to the bathroom. Chaos ensues that causes noise, and Jim goes to hide in Kara's pile of plushies, while Stifler hides above Kara's bed on one of those canopy things. Kara's dad is attracted by the noise upstairs. Oz and Kara's mom are alone now, and Kara's mom puts on the song Oz danced to and basically tries to seduce him (note: earlier Stifler tried to encourage Oz to bang Kara's mom "for Jim's sake".) Kara's dad finds Kara tucked into bed, but notices that she's drunk. He warns her that boys will try to get her drunk to take advantage of her. Then one of Kara's plushies makes a noise. Oh no! Kara asks her dad to bring her the plushie that made the noise and he does, Jim is almost caught but isn't. Kara's dad leaves, goes down and discovers the situation with Oz and Kara's mom and is annoyed but nothing comes of it. Stifler falls into Kara's bed and is creepy about it, and Kara is genuinely upset and asks for Jim's help. Jim pulls Stifler out and they escape.
You'd think that'd be the end, but no. No its not. Later Stifler throws a party. Oh no! Everyone is adults now and the party is really boring. Michelle has brought S&M outfits for her and Jim to wear and "hook up at a Stiffler party" like old times. They got upstairs and take a room (because houses in these movies always have empty bedrooms for people to fuck in). Michelle goes off to change into her dom gear. Jim is already in his sub gear. But, oh no! While Jim is waiting with the lights off Kara sneaks in????? She explains that "your creepy friend" (Stifler) invited her and all the other teen girls to this party. Because of course he did. She tries to seduce him AGAIN and Jim resists. For some reason Kara's boyfriend arrives and freaks out, said he "needed to see it for himself". Everyone goes outside and there's a confrontation between the main American Pie guys and the teen boys that turns into a fight. Michelle appears in her dominatrix gear and whips one of the teen boys. After the teen boys decide to retreat Kara's boyfriend reveals the key information of what happened. And Michelle is upset :( Jim tries to explain but its a comedy so people cant communicate well. Michelle leaves to go stay with her family.
Anyway, the shit at the reunion happens that I mentioned in the previous post. So everything is ok now. I was actually pleasantly surprised to see them not drop this storyline and actually wrap it up. During the post-climax cooldown stuff, Jim sees Kara and approaches her. Kara apologizes to Jim and says he was right and she should "save it for someone special" and also said she broke up with her boyfriend. Thats... pretty much how the whole thing is settled.
The whole thing is fucking WILD, creepy, ![awooga](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/12dc28f7-b63c-4d62-a1ff-6e3cd6e73c28.png "awooga" and messed the fuck up. I had to talk about it.
as someone who is vaguely aware of having seen one or two of those films but remembers almost nothing about them, i appreciate the blow-by-blow (no pun intended)
How are teens going to know they can
fuck each otherput the hot foreign exchange student changing in your bedroom on webcam to broadcast to your friends, but accidentally email it to the whole school so everyone can see it, only wow, what? She finds your porn mags and starts masturbating to them? Wow Jim you better get over there and chuckle wink wink offer her a hand!!!! And then you do and it... sorta works? She asks you to strip for her. You try throwing your clothes over the webcam to prevent anyone from seeing this but it slips off. Then she asks you to come close. Oh boy this is it!!!! Jk you cum in your pants the moment she touches you.You face no consequences for your serious violation of her privacy, but she gets sent home over it. But somehow in the next movie she's still into you actually? So you spend all summer waiting on her, and start "practicing" for her with the band geek you boned after prom that one time. Except over the course of the summer you realize that your real feelings are for said bandgeek, so you end up rejecting the forgein exchange student for the band geek. The exchange student, disappointed to lose out on her dream of fucking a nerd, ends up taking the virginity of the turbo-nerd who's obsessed with the Terminator movies.
A decade later and some change, you're at your highschool reunion. You and your band geek wife have had some drama over you having an incredibly weird and creepy situation with the barely legal girl you used to babysit who is obsessed with you. But you just made up and are getting it on in the band room! But for some completely inexplicable reason, here's the exchange student! And her date is a guy who looks weirdly like you. You have an awkward exchange. There is literally no logical reason why she would just walk into the band room and catch you it makes no sense its the most contrived excuse for a forced cameo ever. Also she's still not mad at you for violating her privacy!
If Jason Biggs can't tell them.
Sorry the American Pie movies, including the shitty spinoffs, are weirdly a lowkey special interest for me I needed to info dump.
Those movies are bizarre.
I have a powerful need to infodump further about this bit. Its one of the most bizzare and creepy storylines I've ever seen in a piece of media and it needs to be explained to the fullest.
A major subplot of American Reunion (maybe not even a subplot, it drives a lot of the main story) is this weird situation between Jim and the girl he used to babysit, Kara.
So near the start of the movie when Jim has just come to his childhood home for his highschool Reunion. When he gets there, we are treated to a slow motion, male gazey shot of a young, attractive girl slow jogging to her boyfriend's car. Its actually appropriate use of male gaze because guess what, Jim is
ing the fuck out of her. She notices him and runs over, and low and behold, this young girl is the same girl that Jim used to babysit when they were both younger! And she's all grown up now! (This was never mentioned in previous movies to be clear). And whoops, turns out the girl Jim was 
ing is actually still 17, because she tells him she's having her 18th birthday tomorrow and he should come! She's very excited to see him btw and gives him a hug and shit. Jim declines to attend this party because he promised to spend time with his wife Michelle.
Later as the gang are hanging out at the beach, there is an incident where Oz's model girlfriend is sunbathing topless, and a group of teen boys (including Kara's boyfriend) steal her top and run off and escape on jetskis. The gang gets revenge on the teens when Stifler shits in their cooler of beer and then ties their jetskis to the gang's car and drives off with them, wrecking the jetskis.
The gang decide to go off to an old hangout spot at a more private beach the tourists dont know about type thing. Michelle can't come because Jim and her have baby, but encourages Jim to go. When they arrive, oops, there's a party going on. And then this AWFUL exchange happens
Jim: Looks like a highschool party. Fan Favorite Steve Stifler: really excited WITH HIGHSCHOOL CHICKS
Ah yes, the desirable goal of thirty something men, highschool girls
Anyway, the gang decides to hang out for some reason. Also this party is Kara's birthday if you didn't guess. Stifler spends the whole time trying to skeeve on the children by sharing a bong with them and pretending to be into Twilight, but gets owned when his boss calls him, demands he does a project, and the girls bail on him during the call. The girls seem to think of him as a hilarious clown to use for laughs kinda.
Anyway Kara gets massively drunk at her birthday. And oh no! Her boyfriend was supposed to drive her home but something happened with his jetskis :( . So she asks Jim to bring her home. And Jim reluctantly agrees not wanting her to drive herself home. On the ride home Kara acts... well like a drunk teen. She goes "wooooooo" while hanging out of the top window thing whatever those are called. Then she claims she's hot and takes her top out and we get the requisite female topless nudity of an American Pie film. And while the actress is of course a few years older, its noteworthy that the character literally JUST turned 18 that day.
Anyway... turns out that Kara...
ALWAYS HAD A CRUSH ON JIM. And wow! Wow! She wants him to "be her first". We are not playing on any weird fantasies of the people who are old enough to have been teens when the American Pie movies came out at all here folks! Reminder that she's topless for all of this. Jim is of course awkward everyman about it and tries to turn her down nicely. But then, distracted by Kara's nudity and seduction attempts, Jim crashes the car and Kara hits her head and gets knocked out in his lap. John Cho's character from the first movie, famous for popularizing the term "MILF", drives by and stops asking if Jim needs help. He notices that someone is in his lap, and assumes its Michelle. And thinks Jim is getting road head from Michelle. Nice! John Cho is organizing the reunion by the way. He gets a much larger part in this movie (though still a fairly small one overall) because Cho is a star now.
Anyway Jim is now desperate to figure out how to get this drunk, topless, knocked out girl home without getting in trouble with Michelle or Kara's parents. So he calls up the buddies. But oops! The main buddies bring Stifler. Jim is angry but Stifler points out that "while you guys were jerking off I was running this play every night baby!". They come up with a plan. Jim and Finch will sneak Kara through the back door while Stifler and Oz pretend they need to use the parent's phone. Lmao whoops, seems they made an error because its 2012 now and everyone has cell phones now so the parents are confused why they would need to use their phone. But as luck would have it, Oz's run on what is basically Dancing with the Stars with a different name has made him famous and Kara's mom is actually obsessed with him! So they invite Oz (and Stifler) in.
While Oz and Kara's parents have an awkward exchange, Jim and Finch try to get Kara through the back door. Michelle ALMOST SEES THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW because Jim's kid sees him and says "daddy!". But they manage to dodge her. The blanket covering Kara comes off while they are trying to get through some bushes. The drunk Kara tells Finch that he likes his scarf, and Finch, who has mostly avoided being a creep so far in this film, says "I like your breasts". Cool.
Anyway, Jim manages to get her upstairs but... some shit happens because she is drunk and Stifler is an asshole. Stifler sees her going upstairs naked and wants in on this, so he says he needs to go to the bathroom. Chaos ensues that causes noise, and Jim goes to hide in Kara's pile of plushies, while Stifler hides above Kara's bed on one of those canopy things. Kara's dad is attracted by the noise upstairs. Oz and Kara's mom are alone now, and Kara's mom puts on the song Oz danced to and basically tries to seduce him (note: earlier Stifler tried to encourage Oz to bang Kara's mom "for Jim's sake".) Kara's dad finds Kara tucked into bed, but notices that she's drunk. He warns her that boys will try to get her drunk to take advantage of her. Then one of Kara's plushies makes a noise. Oh no! Kara asks her dad to bring her the plushie that made the noise and he does, Jim is almost caught but isn't. Kara's dad leaves, goes down and discovers the situation with Oz and Kara's mom and is annoyed but nothing comes of it. Stifler falls into Kara's bed and is creepy about it, and Kara is genuinely upset and asks for Jim's help. Jim pulls Stifler out and they escape.
You'd think that'd be the end, but no. No its not. Later Stifler throws a party. Oh no! Everyone is adults now and the party is really boring. Michelle has brought S&M outfits for her and Jim to wear and "hook up at a Stiffler party" like old times. They got upstairs and take a room (because houses in these movies always have empty bedrooms for people to fuck in). Michelle goes off to change into her dom gear. Jim is already in his sub gear. But, oh no! While Jim is waiting with the lights off Kara sneaks in????? She explains that "your creepy friend" (Stifler) invited her and all the other teen girls to this party. Because of course he did. She tries to seduce him AGAIN and Jim resists. For some reason Kara's boyfriend arrives and freaks out, said he "needed to see it for himself". Everyone goes outside and there's a confrontation between the main American Pie guys and the teen boys that turns into a fight. Michelle appears in her dominatrix gear and whips one of the teen boys. After the teen boys decide to retreat Kara's boyfriend reveals the key information of what happened. And Michelle is upset :( Jim tries to explain but its a comedy so people cant communicate well. Michelle leaves to go stay with her family.
Anyway, the shit at the reunion happens that I mentioned in the previous post. So everything is ok now. I was actually pleasantly surprised to see them not drop this storyline and actually wrap it up. During the post-climax cooldown stuff, Jim sees Kara and approaches her. Kara apologizes to Jim and says he was right and she should "save it for someone special" and also said she broke up with her boyfriend. Thats... pretty much how the whole thing is settled.
The whole thing is fucking WILD, creepy, ![awooga](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/12dc28f7-b63c-4d62-a1ff-6e3cd6e73c28.png "awooga"
and messed the fuck up. I had to talk about it.
as someone who is vaguely aware of having seen one or two of those films but remembers almost nothing about them, i appreciate the blow-by-blow (no pun intended)
Glad my autism powers are of use lol.
I think people make successful Youtube channels just doing recaps, so perhaps there's a career in it for you recycling c o n t e n t
Thank you for your service.
🎶 At least I am an American/ so I can eat American pie
And I won’t forget the comedies/ that make me want to die
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