Just spent hours dealing with things I really wish I didn't have to deal with while pretending to be far stronger than I am for people who obviously needed some leadership in a crisis.

Rip to a real worker. Rip to a man who worked non stop to ridiculous effort his whole life and had it all stolen by parasites. Rip to someone whose politics FINALLY came around to my side during the final weeks of his life when he realised he didn't give a shit about any of the work and wish he'd spent more time on other things. Rip to a would-be marxist who simply never had the time, energy or theory to become one.

Good night dad. You went out peacefully at home like you wanted at least.

EDIT: I fucking love you all and he would have too.

  • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Thank you for being the rock for your loved ones in this hard time. They may not know how to show it right now, but their service doing them really can't be understated.

    I'm sorry your having to do that though, and even more so for your loss. Here's to a comrade at the end.

    • Awoo [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      It's fine, really. I have the kind of character that deals well in crisis-mode situations. I can plug into a sort of "get things done" mode like a light-switch. It's rough and I know I'm shutting down emotions to deal with later but I'll be alright and spare them a bunch of traumas, moving him and bag etc, that kind of thing is honestly deeply traumatic stuff I wish on nobody.

        • Awoo [she/her]
          ·
          4 years ago

          I didn't carry him, but I did have to deal with the undertakers and I didn't want to not be in the room. Someone had to be there you know? To watch him get moved, sealed up, and to make sure he was cared for properly. We have the tighest corners filled with the most junk too so I was scrambling around to clear space and such to get him out. He went at home in the upstairs bedroom exactly where he wanted to, he still had the strength to say NOOO loudly when a nurse asked if he wanted a hospital bed yesterday. She wasn't even asking about the hospital but an at-home hospital bed that would help with handling sores etc. It's a funny lasting moment of his stubbornness and the fact he was still listening.