To extrapolate:

People often say that one should not worry about what others think of them, but life simply doesn't work that way. What other people think of you really does matter; point-in-fact, it can be everything depending on what field you go into.

Like say, for example, you're a business owner and you're recorded arguing with an angry Karen of a customer, the video's posted online, and the internet sides with the Karen. Then, people boycott your business and you're left without a livelihood.

Or perhaps you say something crass and get cancelled. Or simply anger or inconvenience someone with a lot of influence.

Or, even more horrifyingly, say you were assaulted and you came forward, and were ostracized and shunned by your community as a result.

How could one set up their life such that it would be impossible for people like that to rob one of their livelihood? How could one make it impossible for others to shun or ostracize them?

How could a business owner set up their business so that other people couldn't simply shut it down on a whim in such a manner?


EDIT: I'll just "be myself" since that's what the majority of people in the thread want and repeat what I said to another individual:

Honestly, the way everybody is acting is really, really shameful. I am a person who made a thread and gave it a [Serious] tag because I wanted serious, literal answers to a serious problem that, given my chosen career path, will affect me at some point in my life and could potentially ruin it without good info to prepare for such a crisis beforehand. But all I’m getting is denial, mockery, condescension, lies, put-downs.

And it’s rooted in this desire to either pretend the problem is not real because you’re all secretly afraid it’ll affect you yourselves, or it’s because you know it’s real but you view it as a positive because ostracization and shunning people is an emotional cudgel you wield to silence people you don’t agree with on the internet, and answering the question honestly would require framing such actions as a negative and that would make you question the morality of your actions. And that’s not only sick, that’s just cowardly. If you believe cancelling people is morally A-O good, then at least have the temerity to threaten me with a “Don’t speak your mind and mask up” response like at least a few people were honest enough to do.

But don’t insult my intelligence by thinking you can lie to my face and pretend that something I’ve been personally watching happen to other people for over a decade is not, in fact, happening.

Now I came here for a serious answer to a serious problem that affects everyone. If you can't participate in good faith and offer meaningful strategies to avoid or fix such problems and want to either misconstrue it as an emotional issue -- much as you'll do with what I'm saying here after the majority of you demanded I just be myself and not worry about the consequences -- or outright deny it's a real problem when it's been real for over a decade, just don't participate in the thread. Just go elsewhere.


Okay, I just acted like myself. Everyone happy?

  • MF_COOM [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    IDK these don't really seem like realistic examples. The number of real people who do nothing wrong but lose their job or get ostracized from their community is vanishingly small.

    I really don't think you need to worry about this comrade. Just be a good person and live your life.

    • GarbageShoot [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      The number of real people who do nothing wrong but lose their job or get ostracized from their community is vanishingly small.

      idk, there are anti-BDS laws in some places that cause some people real problems.

      • AntiOutsideAktion [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        yeah cancel culture is real and deadly on the left. No one's burning evidence off of Ben Shapiro's corpse in a car fire because he's organizing boaters to protest teaching history to high schoolers

  • Curious Canid@lemmy.ca
    ·
    1 year ago

    In almost every case, the best defense against this is to be a genuinely good person. Treat everyone with kindness and you will get surprising amount of support.

  • GarbageShoot [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    The internet isn't real life. Even if you get owned in a video (a very rare occurrence, especially if you are polite and reserved), it's unlikely to put you out of your livelihood. You might, might, have a rough patch, but tomorrow social media will move on to a new controversy and you can work on improving things rather than just weathering the storm.

    People say "cancel culture runs the world" but those are people who live on the internet or Fox News and get that feeling from a) being told so by media figures who benefit from such a message as part of their ideological brand and b) being continuously shown fringe cases with extremely high-profile characters, often with those media figures telling you that "you could be next" even though you don't have a 10-figure contract with Nike to lose in the first place.

    HR exists so a company can insulate itself from legal threats from its employees. If you work for a company, study that company's policy and follow it. If they fire you or otherwise fuck you over, you can retaliate so long as you actually did follow company policy and they are punishing you for something outside of those bounds.

  • RovingFox@infosec.pub
    ·
    1 year ago

    There is no rejection proof because nothing is guaranteed in life. To be able to 100% guarantee something means to be perfect at something. Nobody is perfect at anything, perfection is only associated with godhood because it is realistically unobtainable.

  • birdcat@lemmy.ml
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I generally recommend never using social media under your real name. And every business communication (where you need to use your real name) should only consist of bland and necessary stuff. A business, whether as big as Disney or just you, offering a thing from a website or food truck, simply does not need (and imo should not have and not pretend as if it had) values and political views.

    The podcast blocked and reported often revolves around your question (or more around the drama after it happened), sometimes they also interview people who had it happened to them, or wrote books about it.

    I cannot remember a specific episode now, there are so many. In one, a family-owned(?) bakery lost everything cuz they were falsely accused of racism.

    Probably the most interesting and famous case that underlines that simply being a "genuinely good person" is not enough, is the one of Justine Sacco; the woman who tweeted "Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding. I’m white!" and then lost her job etc., almost got her whole life destroyed (she fine today).

    While it may not be hilarious to everyone and kinda on the tasteless side, shitposting and making jokes should not destroy your life, so never do it under your real name!

      • birdcat@lemmy.ml
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        😊glad I could provide some balance to some of the weird answers you got here.

        I tried to find the bakery episode, cuz it's really crazy, but could not find it. But what I found is that it has more than just a happy ending ($36M payment, jesus fuck, I wanna get it happening to me in the US too!) 🤯

    • ∟⊔⊤∦∣≶@lemmy.nz
      ·
      1 year ago

      Now that was fucking hilarious. I couldn't believe she would put something like that online! She did kinda ask for that shitstorm to head her way so I don't feel bad laughing at her. Didn't deserve to lose her job though.

  • LesbianLiberty [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    For me, I've never found it possible. Internet stuff, whatever, but when friends or loved ones turn on you there's not much to be done in my experience. Try and be compassionate to all involved and try to politely explain yourself to anyone, but those who stick with you are the real ones. If folks are liable to turn on you after a social misstep or something as serious as assault, they're bad folks, folks.

  • SighBapanada@lemmy.ca
    ·
    1 year ago

    What you think of others matters equally as much. Be a good person and be careful who you surround yourself with. Be descerning of different groups of people and their beliefs/values/culture. Being rejected by a group of bigots is a good thing, and you wouldn't want to be embraced by them to begin with. There are countless historical examples of individuals led astray by group-think, so don't be too concerned what multitudes think of you. It all depends on context, and wanting to be "rejection proof" might signal too much interest in one's reputation, although I'm not accusing you of that.

  • xjxkgljgkdk@lemmy.ml
    ·
    1 year ago

    I would also love an answer to this question. I have worried about this issue a lot. One of the only answers I have come up with is to have multiple skills. So that if people "side with a Karen" for example, you can hopefully transition into a different industry and leave the previous industry behind. Varied skills in multiple areas are the way I hope to avoid cancellation

  • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
    ·
    1 year ago

    You can't, we live in a society, unless you're prepared and able to live alone off the grid in secret. Get as good at being popular as you personally can be. When people say "be yourself" they mean be a polished, market-friendly version of yourself.

    I'm not sure what all the drama in here is about.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
        ·
        1 year ago

        Yeah, this is the kind of thing that makes people regret ever coming down from the trees. Healthcare, steady meals and no predators is pretty dope, though.

  • vd1n@lemmy.ml
    ·
    1 year ago

    It's human nature to do what you said. Just keep being human. Bring back to others what they deserve.