I started Lexapro about 5 years ago. I wanted to, I was a bit unsure but my psych ensured it would help me and it did for a time. It took the edge off my depression, and lessened the suicidal ideations I was having.

What I didn't know at the time was that I have ADHD which wasn't being treated, and which was the root cause of a lot of my problems at that time. Actually, my psychiatrist doubted I had ADHD for a year until I basically got the diagnosis myself. Now I take Concerta which helps a lot and anyone who has or thinks you have ADHD consider trying a stimulant for it if you can.

Over time, I have had sometimes debilitating loss of motivation. This has made finishing my PhD quite difficult. It has also affected a lot else in my life.

Relationship problems have also arisen that are quite related to what I now know is common in SSRIs known as "emotional blunting". More or less, it has been very hard to be emotionally available to my partner and is something I have had to work on very hard despite no major problems in our relationships.

I had no idea until just yesterday these two things can be related and caused by long term use of SSRIs. I have had the idea of getting off Lexapro for a while, mostly based on vibes and the fact that I actually treat my ADHD now (and know I have it)

Any time I bring up motivation issues to my shrink, he usually blames it on cannabis and says to really pay attention to how cannabis affects my motivation. I am a daily user, and have agonized quite a lot over how I might be sabotaging my entire life. I don't necessarily want to stop using it though, and I don't usually use it during working hours. Also, it has almost entirely replaced alcohol for me, and it is essential to treat my partner's chronic pain.

After already having him doubt my ADHD (despite me describing ADHD symptoms to him for years) he never considered doing something to help me outside of increasing SSRI dose. Now I have found out there is actual research about SSRI apathy and emotional blunting that are really similar to things I experience and this motherfucker never bothered to bring it up. I don't want to get into to many details but I really hate my shrink sometimes, I usually leave there angry and it's also far away since I moved across town. I just haven't found a new one yet and need to go every month to get my meds (especially concerta as it's a controlled substance)

I'm already going to ask him about dropping my dose of Lexapro. I take 15 mg right now, 10 mg is usually the "starter dose" so it shouldn't be a big issue to just drop it down a bit and see if it helps. Are there any online spaces or communities where people have shared similar experiences? Or anyone else here experienced these symptoms and stopped taking an SSRI?