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Please don't. I am so bound up right now. This is my life. I have no arse but I must shit
Edit: I'm pleased to announced I finally delivered a large smelly son just a few moments ago. Such a relief
Some people are worried about fake friends, I'm more worried about fake farts.
I thought the inverse would be going to fart and sucking up the shit already in your trousers back into your arse
Someone was doing this in the bathroom stall next to me today and I almost yacked.