we've all got them, right? this isn't just a me thing, right???

you meet nice people, you get to know them, and you realize that they really like you but actually you don't like them

what's it like for you? how do you deal?

my strategy is to just be kind and supportive but largely unavailable, but as a late-diagnosed autistic person, idk if I'm doing it right

do I need to formally break up with these people as friends or is distance enough?

maybe this belongs in /c/neurodivergent or /c/askchapo 🤔

  • Angel [any]
    ·
    4 months ago

    My ex. She's undoubtedly a friendly soul, but after I broke up with her, I had to make things clear that I think we should not continue contact at all, even though she was somewhat insistent that she still wanted to just talk to me as a friend. She was rather obsessive, and I think if I were to stay in touch with her, she'd probably react unkindly to this news.

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
    ·
    3 months ago

    People that always knew exactly what they wanted to be, and had a very straight journey to getting there, with a pretty little life, happy to just be one small functioning part in a system far beyond their understanding.

    They might be good people but I just can't relate to them at all.

    • the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them]
      ·
      3 months ago

      this is definitely one genre of person I'm thinking of – it seemed like most of the women I tried to befriend when my son was small were like this, and there I was, several years younger than them with my oops baby and poverty and undiagnosed neurodivergence 🤦

      I know at least one of them was very hurt when I stopped making plans with her with no explanation, but how do you tell someone that their overwhelming kindness and generosity makes you feel like trash because you know you could never repay it? "Sorry, I can't be your friend anymore, because every time you buy me coffee or lunch and buy my child gifts, I go home and cry!" 😂🤦

  • allthetimesivedied [they/them, she/her]
    ·
    3 months ago

    This has been my whole life—making friends and then realizing that they annoy me and don’t interest me very much at all. I usually just drift away and eventually unfriend or whatever, more proactively if they’re really annoying.

    And then the one person I’ve ever really liked a lot got tired of me and won’t talk to me anymore: maybe karma is real.