Airport scanners have a problem with my genitals so nearly every single time I go through I get a red square there and “require” a pat down. It’s usually a quick obligatory show that seems completely ineffective as they don’t touch anywhere near the actual area in question. I make a subtle joke about my massive cock and balls, they laugh at the machine complimenting me, and I move on in under a minute.

However, sometimes there’s a false positive when they test their gloves after and then all my luggage gets searched through, accompanied by a barrage of questions. That’s when the vibe totally switches and they become very antagonistic. Once you’re seen as suspicious they go full cop brain and try their hardest to put the pressure on to make you crack. Even when they don’t find anything at all you’re still guilty in their eyes so they try to turn the most banal and innocent things into an excuse to “prove” you’re up to no good. I’m sure they have fantasies of being the one to stop some super dangerous terrorist (and then reflexively justify the whole security theater) so they will try to warp the facts to make you that dangerous terrorist if you catch their ire. You’re put in a position of having to prove your innocence rather than them having to prove your guilt, the absence of anything incriminating isn’t sufficient for them.

I’m lucky that I pass the initial vibe check just by virtue of being a “normal” looking white guy so I’m only subject to that extra scrutiny after failing two of their screening processes, many others are seen as sus by default. I’ve seen how ugly they can get once they decide you “deserve” it and can’t imagine how rough it must be to deal with that every time