So, my liberal mom came down with COVIL, confirmed by a rapid test today. My father is also symptomatic.
She is insisting that I go on a road trip with her to Tampa tomorrow, and says I can do what I want, but she will be locking the doors when she leaves.
I am working a new job, and get my first paycheque on the 8th of august, 3 days after she comes back.
When I asked if she would at least commit to masking the whole time and keeping the car windows down, she laughed in my face.
I told her that after years of pestering me to get a job, it was completely unfair of her to ask me to sacrifice my employment for her recreational desires, and she tried to initiate a shouting match, so I just walked away.
I'm averse to knowingly going and getting covil a third time, but I can't book a hotel with my own funds as I don't have any of them for another week. I am new to the city and know zero people here.
I am prepared to rough it out for 4 days and cut off all contact with her as a last resort, but I am at my wit's end for options.
Can anyone help brainstorm a plan that preserves my safety?
Can you get a housekey cut? Leave open a window? Is it really home if youve never had to break in? (asking for a friend)
I dont like your mother, you deserve better. I wouldn't go, try do a song and dance about 'responsibility' and 'having to work'? (sorry i see you did try, well done for disengaging)
If I’m understanding correctly, your mother is locking you out of your home unless you go on this trip with her?
Yeesh. Well, personally I don’t want you to get COVID. If you could get a couple of n95s you might be okay. I’m assuming COVID is only one of many headaches about this trip though.
It’s supposed to be pretty damn hot and humid in Georgia for the next week or so. Roughing it might be tough. What camping supplies you got?
Other ideas. Is there anyway you could still stay in your house without their knowing? Spare keys? Low windows? Door cameras? You can claim to stay at a friend’s house.
DM me if you need a friend’s phone number I guess.
What camping supplies you got?
Zilch :/
I have a spare key, but there are internet door cameras installed.
What are they gonna do, call the cops on you for being in your own home? would they really do that? And if they did, would the cops really kick you out? I'd say there's a distinct chance they get lazy and say its a civil matter and/or that your parents have to go through eviction proceedings to get you out. But it may not be worth the risk, I suppose. Its really up to your own tolerance for risk and conflict. I would probably just go in, turn off my cell phone, and pretend like nothing's wrong. But I've never been in your shoes, I always had some social net (and I'm white as fuck, so while its no guarantee I wouldn't get fucked with, I at least wasn't too worried about getting straight up murdered by the police either)
if the cameras are only outside and don't cover the whole perimeter you could also probably leave a window unlocked and pop the screen and climb in after they leave. Not fun but more risk averse than just going in through the front door and daring them to do something about it.
Most likely, it's not about you using their home as shelter. It's about cutting off your other options to attempt to goad you into going with them.
They'll be pissed either way, so just be comfortable at home. Their knowledge about you being there doesn't really matter if they're somewhere else.
Would she go so far as to call the cops? Can you disable the cameras somehow?
e: Could you borrow supplies from friends maybe?
Sorry you're in this situation, your mother sounds like a nightmare to deal with.
How are they gonna stop you from being there if they're in another city?
What happens if you just use your spare key and ignore the cameras? Let's say there are 10-12 hours between when they leave and when you use the spare key.
PS leaving a window and door unlocked is a nice secondary option that you could use as your primary if you don't want them knowing about your spare key.
Pretend your boss texted really needing your help and staying is the difference between being fired and getting a potential pay raise, and you have to stay because of that
I second the Finesse It Into Your Own House option, a "forgotten" unlocked window or "missing" spare key at this stage could cut all this bullshit short and maybe spare you a bout with covid. You can tell her you're crashing on a friend's couch or something, then enjoy four days of peace.
Spare key is your friend, if they'll be confiscating yours you can get a copy made at most hardware stores for $5 or less.
-Can you leave a window unlocked (or better two, don't make it your bedroom one alone because they're most likely to check that) without it being super obvious that it's unlocked?
-If there is an attached garage is there a WORKING spare remote that opens it that you could gain access to and hide for this purpose? (Hoping your key lets you in through the garage-house door as well obviously)
-Could you cut the internet for the cameras 10-30 minutes before they leave without them noticing? Unplug the router or modem? You'd have to hurry back into the house once they're gone from sight and plug it back in after (as I'm assuming they'd check on the road or at their destination) then do the same on the day they come back and run your ass out of the house before the internet comes back up for the cameras. This doesn't guarantee that you won't be spotted by the way as some may cache things for a time, not sure if cutting power to them by removing their batteries to reboot would do anything but it's worth a shot.
-Could you disable just the wifi if they'd notice all the internet going down (assuming these are wifi cameras) before they leave?
-Do you have admin access to the home wifi router? You could possibly blacklist the camera devices before they leave, remove them once you're inside and repeat the same (removing once you're back inside again) on the day they come back.
-Do you have or could you get thick black tape, electrical or otherwise and carefully cut it in a circular shape to match only the back or less commonly used door's camera (as they'll be less likely to check that one IMO unless you think otherwise) and tape it up an hour before they're set to leave or some time before they're kicking you out? You could even do it the night before. Just don't get caught standing in front of it to do so, put it in place using your hand from around the doorway corner so it sees nothing incriminating. If you do this a tighter fit will make it less noticeable BUT if you leave any gaps the camera's motion sensor could go off and see something which it reports so a bit on the bigger side if you can't get it perfect may be the thing (try and tuck it and get it nice and smooth around the lens or inside the hole).
-Any chance the cameras have blind-spots? Could you crawl on your belly from the side to open one of the doors without being seen? I understand you may not have this info.
-Not sure if it's of any use but you could try taping over any securement mechanisms for windows so they appear latched (this won't work with most latch types but some with a little catch it will if you can use tape to prevent it from deploying out, much as how one old technique for insider access was to place heavy duty tape along the lock mechanism on doors to retain the locks in the door itself and prevent them from getting out of the door and properly engaging with the frame). Obviously test this kind of thing beforehand and make sure it works rather than find out it doesn't and getting locked out.
Otherwise get a couple N95s (or KN-95s, better than nothing) and wear them on the trip means a real chance you might not get it or at least as badly.
How much do you like these people? Besides immediately going outside or finding a basement or empty room in the house, you can also be petty and tell people you have a contagious disease and cough really loud and they’ll probably leave you alone
do you not have another key to the house? Seems like you're sort of out of options since she's leaving tomorrow - I probably would have recommended getting another key made. Maybe you'd be able to find an airbnb? I have no idea what your situation is atm is and if that's feasible or not.
if you did receive funds do you even have a way to spend them that a hotel would even accept? (ideally a credit card but more realistically a debit card could also work, though they usually have to authorize more than the total cost in case of damage/incidentals, so debit is not great.)
Hitting up local groups trying to find a couch to crash on might be a good option if you're not willing to confront them head on and call their bluff on kicking you out (they don't have enough time to change the locks before they leave so that helps). There are probably mutual aid or other support groups, but you'll have to get in contact with them ASAP.
(Holy shit what the fuck? Im really sorry your family are... not good.)
You've tried telling them that your boss won't give you time off? You're too new, don't have leave saved up, etc? Right?
3rd time getting covid? I'm assuming you're mid-20s? you will probably die in your 50s now, that's not a joke.
Fuck off come on
You have no source for this shit and you know it. Its obviously really bad for you, yes. "years off your life" is 100% accurate even, I'd bet, but decades off your life? why make shit up like this, huh? just to further scare someone who knows the risks and is already doing her best to be safe? Fuck off
