Honestly thinking about my life, this is such an accurate statement. The only heroes in the US are people we make up. Hank Hill is kinda my role model, imagining Hank Hill approving of me showering regularly gets me to do it. Kinda fuckin pathetic, but that's really how it is in America. I'm doing okay because I imagine a cartoon character is supporting me

I call upon the lathe and the conch

Spongebob does some gangster shit in Florida

Spongebob is a hero alright. A proletarian hero. https://medium.com/@carsonlevy/5-times-spongebob-squarepants-taught-us-to-be-wary-of-capitalism-bfdb3d8a5232

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=CDnNcDE3Lbs

tie me to a missile and fire it at bikini bottom, i am ready

I mean, our generals are a bunch of faceless bureaucrats who do their time to get jobs as consultants on Wall Street or for the MIC. That kind of work doesn't necessitate knowing how to actually win a war. If they do majorly screw up, they just get promoted anyways.

Not at all awe inspiring, like the queeny generals of yore.

The Revolutionary guard actually removed the gumball eyes from the SpongeBob ice cream pops.

I love how he didn't say "captain America"

Went for the jugular