biden will be on whatever drugs they give him to let him give coherent speeches, and he'll spend the entire time talking about trump's taxes.
trump has gotten a lot meeker since his performance at the 2016 republican primary debates (which were what brought him political prominence in the first place) so he'll mostly just deny everything.
the media will declare biden the winner.
i'm not gonna bother watching this shit live. figure i'll find out if there are any highlights.
But it's our favorite large adult son's birthday celebration too, at the very least it'll be fun* getting parasocially krunked with your estranged and possibly illegitimately adopted child for their special day
Note: "Fun" should be interpreted as "a tolerable experience, contrary to the rest of this gods-forsaken year; perhaps we will exhale sharply through our nostrils with mirth at one point."