Permanently Deleted

  • Moss [they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    God I love Evangelion. A lot of people don't like it, and frankly there is a lot not to like about it, but honestly there is no more impactful media in my life. I can personally attribute a big portion of my development to Evangelion.

    spoiler for the theme of End of Evangelion, nothing plot-related. Also CW for mental health, depression and suicide.

    The message of EoE, or what spoke to me, was that life comes with hardship. There is no perfect world in which everything is easy and nothing goes wrong and you don't have to grow. To wish for such a world is to wish to be a god, or to be dead. To wish that everything was easy is to wish that nothing had any meaning.

    I was incredibly an incredibly depressed and suicidal teen when I found Evangelion. In the first few episodes, Shinji asks why he shouldn't run away from his problems. Why shouldn't he avoid something that makes him unhappy? I was watching this and thinking, yes, Shinji is right, do what you enjoy in the moment and nothing else matters. I was constantly skipping school so I could go home and play video games, watch anime and develop a porn addiction. I thought that by merely doing what I wanted and avoiding what was hard for me, I could make myself happy. This didnt work. I was still depressed, I just didn't recognise it.

    Shinji learns the value of connection throughout the show. The "hedgehog's dilemma" is brought up - the idea that hedgehogs want to be close to each other, but will prick each other with their spines. Getting close to someone might hurt. It's hard, and it could go wrong.

    But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. You should try things that could go wrong. You can learn from your mistakes. You are allowed to be imperfect.

    It's worth the risk of getting hurt, if it means you might be happier. It's worth trying to live a happy life, because when youre already depressed, you have nothing to lose.

    I think I was 15 when I watched Eva, only one year older than Shinji. Depression was not new to me. I had tried to kill myself, and given up on living a happy life. My plan was to simply make it to 18, use up all my money on indulgances, and kill myself. Now I'm alive, as an adult, and I want things. I want to protect my friends and be loved and make a better world. I don't want to die anymore. And I attribute a lot of that to the message of Evangelion, which told me so directly, like nothing else ever has, that life is worth living, not in spite of the uncertainty, but because of it. Because uncertainty is a part of living, and living a life trying to avoid it is not living at all

    Anyway. Don't try to understand the lore, it's not important and doesn't make any sense. Things will just happen. Don't worry about how or why. The actual plot of this show makes next to no sense if you just watch the original 26 episodes.

    • Egon
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • Awoo [she/her]
        ·
        3 months ago

        I'm getting "mad max"-type-lore from the show, where you won't ever be told directly what is going on or why people do what they do, but the world is vivid you might be able to infer it and even if you don't, you kinda get it.

        https://youtu.be/6IQqPMsIfX4