The last white liberal I tried to befriend unironically told me I was so lucky to be Asian because I naturally already look more feminine than white transfems (like her)

im a SEA trans woman living in australia - there's been a lot of times where I feel like I can pass better/get away with less because of the fact that most people around me don't have a sense of like what to look for if they were trying to clock me. tbh I also don't know if anyone around here can even tell what race I am beyond just vaguely southish asian and foreign

I dont know about hurt, but the flipside is that I've always found it harder to feel comfortable in my own body in different ways - i'm plus size, and having grown up in white culture I keep finding myself judging my body based on white beauty standards, which itself feeds into dysphoria. it's something I'm trying to work on, but it's definitely hard

I'm an asian transfem. For the record I've only very recently been actively transitioning, but not long ago I would get "misgendered" as female despite presenting as a male with long hair, which isn't exactly the same as passing but whatever. Because of that, my perspective may be incomplete but I'm bored so I will give it anyway, just with the disclaimer you just read:

I actually don't mind that my physical traits may help me pass as female. It is what it is, you take what you can get. Though I will say I do find it strange and fetishy for a white person to think my feminine traits comes from something inherent in asianness; I have many cis male relatives who are just as masculine as any other american male.

As for your "friend", I would definitely not be comfortable around a person who thought there were traits like that inherently related to race, and would not remain friends with them