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  • Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]
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    10
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    4 years ago

    I think this community is moving in the right direction and you're doing a lot of stuff that is good and generally seem to be acting in good faith. Because of that good faith, and since you're a new mod i would like to provide gentle feedback that your conversation with Marie was a lot more productive compared to the other people, and i don't think it's a coincidence if you compare how you opened that convo compared to the others. Messaging someone out of the blue for the first time to ask if they are doing shitty stuff or that they have exactly 1, chosen by you, hour to talk is not going to set up the conversation to be productive. Like if the mayor picks one or two black lives matters protesters out of a crowd and is like "hey is it you fuckers that are starting the fires?" and "you have exactly 1 hour to make your demands and then your window closes forever" it's just straight up not going to be a healthy conversation. I would also be defensive in their position:

    1. I have what i think is a genuine grievance with this place (and some of their grievances are genuine - you admitted Marie should not have been banned)
    2. I get messaged out of the blue asking if i'm responsible for some shitty stuff (and you admit later it appears to just be one spammy guy and not even related to this)
    3. Then i get an ultimatum that i must drop everything and become the spokesperson for an entire group of people's grievances, and must discuss it all immediately with you during, once again, our very fucking first conversation and i only have an hour to do so with no advance notice.

    I'm sorry but those actions are not good faith steps to reconciliation or hearing their "side" out. Now, i am not trying to turn this into A Thing since i think you handled the convo with Marie well, like i mentioned earlier. I just think in the future you should learn from what did and didn't work with starting a productive conversation. And obviously i am making no excuses for the mean stuff people said to you either.