I had lost the arm as a child due to some sort of animal attack, but the fact that I didn't escape the animal before it severely chewed my arm such that it required amputation at the shoulder, was because in the dream I also had some sort of disorder that made me experience occasional "attacks" wherein I lost motor control and sensation in my limbs.

In any case, I was really into guns in this dream, I was in a shooting club and everything, and more specifically I was fascinated by the history of how firearms have been adapted for those with upper limb amputations and prostheses, especially the type of prosthesis that I had. I had in general made the arm a part of my identity, like I wasn't ashamed of it, I'd make jokes about it, I'd wish that the arm would work "more like in the movies" but I still managed to navigate my daily life just fine.

I guess if anything, I woke up feeling kind of freaked out by how my brain had managed to come up with such a radically different path for my life, and made me accept this path so unquestioningly, as if I had really been on it the whole time. It was kinda like Zhuangzi's famous butterfly dream in a sense, and made me wonder how much people should really stake on something so fragile and malleable as identity.

  • the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    17 days ago

    made me wonder how much people should really stake on something so fragile and malleable as identity

    this feels important and I'm grateful to have read it, thank you ❤️