just being in the midwest, thats what i mostly date, and theyre nothing special.

Theyre just people like any other woman.

  • Angel [any]
    ·
    2 months ago

    They're just people

    That's what I like to think when it comes to these kinds of matters, but so many people needlessly and toxically make a huge deal out of race when it comes to dating, even though there are many reasonable people who literally just don't give a shit about race in their partners.

    As someone in an interracial relationship consisting of me, a black transfem enby, and a white cis woman, there is this common tendency to make race such a big deal in the context of romantic relationships to a point where interracial couples are practically always, in the eyes of somebody, interpreted as some kind of special trope with some underlying dynamic.

    On one hand, I understand on some level why POC might get a little iffy if their child starts dating a white person because sometimes those awful dynamics, such as internalized racism, fetishism, etc., do exist in interracial relationships. For most POC who have these qualms about interracial couples, I find that it's not typically rooted in the anti-race-mixing, "genetic purity" fash kinda thought but rather legitimate concerns about oppressive mentalities.

    However, the hasty assumption that any interracial couple you see inherently has something problematic going on is really fucking frustrating for me. I have gotten people who would say things built on the assumption that I care about race in my partners, such as "You must not like dating black people, "White women must click best with you," "What race do you prefer to date?" and it's like STOP.

    Me and my partner, alongside any other non-black person I've dated, are two people in a relationship, and that's it. We happen to be of different races, yes, but some people I've dated are left-handed, whereas I'm right-handed. Are we going to go crazy over that now too?

    • BeamBrain [he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      people who would say things built on the assumption that I care about race in my partners, such as "You must not like dating black people, "White women must click best with you,"

      How is it that I, an autistic person, have more social awareness than these people

    • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      2 months ago

      People, especially family members, get even weirder about interracial relationships when you have a child. The amount of weird inappropriate racial oriented comments my partner and I get about our relationship or our young child's appearance/behavior is super exhausting

      • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 months ago

        Don't worry the comments in my family started before I even got into a serious relationship, yet alone had a child! It's so disturbing, I (am a white guy) brought up casually dating a black woman and family members (especially my mom and grandmother) immediately jumped to weird comments about the appearance of my hypothetical future children. The comments gave me the creeps. I know they were trying to be endearing in some messed up way, but it still gave me the ick.

    • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      2 months ago

      but some people I've dated are left-handed, whereas I'm right-handed. Are we going to go crazy over that now too?

      Yes you need to become left handed, it makes you more leftister ha ha ha ha!

      • Angel [any]
        ·
        2 months ago

        "Leftism is when you're left-handed, and the more left-handed you are, the more leftister you are."

        ~ Carl Mark Lenin

          • Angel [any]
            ·
            2 months ago

            Is that what those "ultra-leftists" are getting at? thonk

            • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
              ·
              2 months ago

              They're those that are left handed, left footed and left brained. Truely a combination for the history books, or armchairs