I realize those two things can go hand-in-hand. I genuinely don’t mean to be offensive and am asking in earnest. I personally was born male assigned at birth, feel pretty male but also hate being male. It’s not that I wish I was something else, I just don’t like being male and can’t relate to most “male experiences” besides having a dick. I don’t know anyone who is not cishet irl, so I could definitely use some education in this area

  • sharedburdens [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I'm vastly more comfortable presenting femme, and it it took me a while to come to terms with that. I was very aware of the whole deal from a young age, but always managed to talk myself out of it over the years. Holding me back was some combination of striver liberalism (not wanting to alienate coworkers/bosses) and internalized misogyny, both of which I feel like I've taken concrete steps to purge.

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Looking back at it, for me, I don't think I really could've transitioned any earlier (in this society).

      cw: suicidal ideation

      I'm almost certain I would've killed myself if I had transitioned any younger, I didn't have much resilience and it was a major thought during my initial egg cracking - "am I gonna do this or am I gonna kill myself because I can't go back to pretending I'm not trans." I think if I had been one of those kids that transitioned at like 12 I wouldn't have made it through middle school between all the crap I was already dealing with at home and my family and what the schools I was going to were like.

      So I don't know if I was "holding myself back" or if I just needed to develop the strength and resilience I needed in this cursed society. Dunno if it's the same for you, but I did spend a lot of time over the last few years regretting not doing it sooner and I've only recently started to be easier on myself about it lately.

      • sharedburdens [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        1 year ago

        Honestly same, it really took getting to a point in my life where I had some stability (social supports, etc) and could afford to be introspective without having to worry about dealing with social fallout on top of everything else - I didn't start until wayyyy after college because even that was in a very conservative place.

        I do regret not doing it sooner as well, but it just wasn't in the cards materially. Regardless I still look hotter than I've ever been so shrug-outta-hecks that's been helping