Dentist: "Hey, you grind your teeth in your sleep. If you keep doing that, we'll have to root canal half your mouth."

Me: "Well, that sounds shit. What can I do about it?"

Dentist: "We can 3D-print you a mouthguard to wear at night. All it takes is scanning your top row of teeth and then producing it, which we can do in-house."

Me: "Sweet. How much?"

Dentist: "Well, you're insured, so that comes out to... $1,000."

Me, fucking around and about to find out: "But I have insurance? This is preventative and the alternative is literally tens of thousands of dollars in expensive, painful surgery. Surely they must cover it."

Dentist, laughing hard enough to have an aneurysm that their insurance won't cover: "lol. lmao, even"

is the only summary of what I'd do to insurance executives if ever given even a modicum of political power.