morshupls so-true dumpster-fire

  • porcupine@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    8 hours ago

    "Your honor, when my client allegedly told the defendant that he would arrive at their home at 6pm on August 9th, break down the front door, then proceed to use the knife entered into evidence as exhibit A to repeatedly stab the defendant in their face and body until the defendant's death, that was merely a vague, generalized, non-actionable assertion of personal optimism."

    • bazingabrain [comrade/them]
      ·
      8 hours ago

      insane document, i get why they lost but whoever wrote this didnt believe a word of it. Al dente legal spaghetti, with the usual mess of quotations and references to other cases (that are often irrelevant) in lieu of parmesan.

  • DragonBallZinn [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    8 hours ago

    This has to be studied “we’re idiots and we admit it, but everyone should take everything we say as gospel despite admitting people shouldn’t.”

    How the hell did we invent intellectual booze? Like it’s garbage that’s bad and we know we shouldn’t…but it’s too pleasurable to simply pass up?

    EDIT: that being said, I know Elon is a sneaky bastard and not “stupid”, but I’m talking about all the suckers.

  • bazingabrain [comrade/them]
    ·
    8 hours ago

    this is magical holy shit, im sending this to my friends working in law, theyre gonna have a field day with this.

  • christian [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    7 hours ago

    So the statement that only an idiot would believe a word Elon Musk says has now been legally certified thanks to his own lawyers?

    I hope there was a fanboy on the jury who tried very hard to push back on the other jurors that it's not stupid to believe this stuff, before finally caving, being consoled by the fact that from the start he didn't want Musk to lose.

    edit: Actually, a funnier idea is Elon's lawyers desperately trying to disqualify a fanboy from being a juror because the plaintiff's lawyers have an expectation of what the defense will be so aren't interested in doing that themselves.

  • CommunistBear [he/him]
    ·
    7 hours ago

    I wonder how this will effect him being the CEO of 14 companies when he fully admits that he's a charlatan who makes shit up