First off i hate the fact that i share things in common with elon musk namely doing ketamine and liking dune

But goddamn that trip was fucking intense im not even totally sure what i witnessed it was complete madness i took maybe 300 mg i think? I dont know if thats a lot but it was a big ol pile of k on my hand and boy did it burn. I put on the dune soundtrack turned on the shower started to dissociate rapidly and then bam! Chaos. I dont even know how to describe it. A state of existence completely orthogonal to human rationality. There wasnt a sense of oneness of the universe or anything, it was more like the skin of reality peeled back to reveal something completely and utterly incomprehensible. A place where definitions and descriptions have no meaning, complete conceptual fluidity. It was transcendent and terrifying. There was no self, no time, no memory of who i was before, only the pounding fall of water, dune, and the screaming breakbeat of my subconscious. I died at least once. Came to staring at my hands and crawled out of the bathtub like the girl from the grudge. All i could say for 30 minutes was holy shit

The more i try to remember the less i understand

10/10 probably going to give ketamine a break for now

  • Darthsenio_Mall [he/him]
    ·
    16 days ago

    Woah, sick. The "skin of reality peeled back" strongly reminded me of a time i did two bottles of dxm syrup and the visual surfaces of the walls and objects in the room i was in began to fall away, revealing the underlying machinery/circuitry that powers reality, or something like that. There were huge bundles of pulsating cables and these arrays of rotating, interlocking gyroscopes, like four-dimensional cogs rotating in both directions and into and out of each other all at once. My friend was saying "darth, DARTH" (except my name) and I was thinking "what is that. what is a darth. Sounds familliar. Wait, is that what i am?" And then i realized i was looking down at my own body from above and snapped back into it. Dissociatives are really somethin'.

    • morte [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      16 days ago

      Fascinating! Yeah theyre wild. The trip before this i saw... something gestating in the psyche of my city and then it was WITHIN me and i saw its wings unfurling beneath my skin. Then i started whisper screaming hellraiser and event horizon quotes. And when i came back i wasnt sure if i was me or something else wearing my skin

      • Darthsenio_Mall [he/him]
        ·
        14 days ago

        Tfw when your country insists that even fetal urban evil must be carried to term. The miasma of cognition is no place to raise a bewinged demon.oooaaaaaaauhhh

        Love event horizon, i should really get around to watching hellraiser.

        • morte [she/her]
          hexagon
          ·
          14 days ago

          Honestly i welcomed it, i feel like the birth of an eldritch being is exactly the kind of change amerikkka needs right now and if my body is its conduit then i can only say i am deeply honored

          Watch it!!! You'll probabaly love it if you love EH. Its incredible. I recommend 1, 2, and the recent hulu reboot. Skip the rest unless youre in the mood for serious cheese

          EXPLORERS IN THE FURTHER REACHES OF EXPERIENCE. ANGELS TO SOME, DEMONS TO OTHERS.