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@el_principito@hexbear.netMy back hurts really badly (6 out of 10, chronically) these days, and it is super hard to pick up my 60 lbs. seven-year-old boy. But he is autistic, and rarely speaks. So when he tries to say "pick me up", I feel compelled to oblige. T_T
Me and my bf are talking more about having kids together!! I got so excited I started crying. Hopefully I'll have more to post here in a few years ccc: (not counting any eggs before they're hatched but it's feeling real in a way that it hasn't before)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
That's awesome! I'm very excited for you! If you have questions, concerns, if you need suggestions, just reach out!
Thank you! We want to live together for a year or two first, but it's something we both always wanted. We both work in childcare/education so it isn't totally idealistic/idle speculation :p Thank you so much for the encouragement!! I am so happy I haven't been able to stop getting weepy every few hours lol.
The boys' second birthday is this weekend and I think we're on top of things. They just need to sleep before it and we'll be alright
The vasectomy ended up not happening because we switched insurance since I started setting it up. Now it's gonna cost twice as much. So it's getting put on hold until I probably have a stable job again. Kind of pissed at how awful my partner's insurance is compared to what we where getting through ACA. Like sure let's not only pay teacher's the worse wages on the planet for a job that REQUIRES a degree but also enjoy you $800/month insurance with a super high deductable that doesn't cover like anything.
Its bad, we had great insurance in our district and then one year they switched us to an HSA and it started costing me a shit load of money every year.
Then my wife got a state job and were on state insurance and its insane how good it is. Like, everyone should have this insurance.
Sorry to hear your vasectomy got derailed, that sucks. I'd also be pissed too. Remember to wrap it up!
If I can have any wish granted before I die, it's to have universal healthcare so the next generations won't have to suffer through this sort of bullshit. Healthcare shouldn't cost a quarter of your salary.
My little one just turned 3 and it's starting to feel kind of off to call them by neutral pronouns but i think that's the gender binary cop in my head? They've been presented with all forms of entertainment and toys from barbies and princesses to monster trucks and dragons to basic numbers and colors and animals and all sorts of shit. Clothes of all sorts, frills and pink, dinosaurs and firetrucks etc.
They identify with the male characters. They love monster trucks and dinosaurs. They like mostly everything i would associate with masculine stuff barring like disney princess stuff. Idk I'm clearly overthinking it because of my own discomfort but what if they would rather just be called a boy, or a girl for that matter? Is it even possible to get an answer from a toddler about it? They're just not even thinking about it are they
I have a daughter who didn't really have many "girly" interests until preschool - I'm pretty sure most kids start to learn gender as a social construct from their teachers and peers.
Honestly, at this age, I just frame things like "many girls like to have long hair, but boys can have long hair, too" when I'm asked questions about gender and expression. The emphasis is usually on the fact that it's ok for people to do/like things that are usually associated with the other gender, and encourage self expression.
Oh yeah I'm not trying to force anything i just don't want to resist any expression of gender either
My kid is 4 and consistently miss-genders her friends, she clearly has no idea what gender is lol. Ultimately your Kiddo's friends and teachers will eventually start gendering them are some point. I think what's important it that your heart is in the right place and you'll be equipped to help them form their own identity when they're ready.
Here is a really nice personal essay about raising kids without gender---or as the author frames it 'gender freedom' which I really liked.
https://indi.ca/raising-kids-with-gender-freedom/
I'm pretty comfortably cis and male so they could just be trying to emulate me rather than expressing themselves
Extremely immature 18 year old mom-to-be with a baby shower that she wanted decorated like a wedding. The vibes were dire!
Yikes. We once went to a baby shower with a gender reveal that went very wrong. The mother-to-be was devastated by the reveal, had to excuse herself, it was ... Awkward to say the least.
I don't get it either. It just seems like a lot of hurt feelings over a kid you're going to love to bits regardless.
I'm making Chashu Pork for dinner tonight. Haven't done that In a while. House smells gooooood.
Fawk i gotta get the slow cooker out now that it's getting chilly out
We made stew in the instapot the other day and it was sooo good.
https://seonkyounglongest.com/ramen-chashu-pork/
Its very good!
Love instant pot foods. Thinking about setting up mine to have soup auto-prepared for me when I get home tomorrow.
Oops might have left the pork a little to long and now it's pulled pork. Oh well! That's what I get for using pork belly precut into strips instead of one large peace.
We're 2.5 months out from the first kid. I think we're very well prepared, but I think this is the calm before the storm.
We're going to get a freezer for down in the basement, for breastmilk storage, and then just to have the expanded storage for frozen food. Chest freezer, or regular side door freezer? I'm on team chest freezer, but I understand it's more convenient to store things in a side door freezer... I'm torn.
You want access to the breast milk ASAP. A side door freezer with drawers works good enough for keeping the cold in as long as you aren't too rough pulling them in/out (think of them like full of water, any air that "spills" out needs to be recooled). I would keep it on the same floor as you live in however, kids screaming because they're hungry and you have to go to the basement first, open the chest freezer (I know I couldn't keep it tidy enough and rummaging for those bags while the kids screaming does not sound like a good time), then go back up and warm it up?
It's usually not time-sensitive to get it but some nights can be very draining and you want to have everything within reach. A steriliser and milk warmer is my secret tip, I thought we didn't need it but we got gifted both and they were amazing. Boiling bottles is an energy and water and time intensive chore, and a bottle warmer ensures a great temperature.
Also yeah it's kind of the calm before the storm but don't underestimate how boringggggg it can be. Like there are hours where nothing happens and then minutes in which hours happen. My wife practically lived in the chair in front of the TV while the small one was sleeping/feeding. Find something nice to do while the little one sleeps on one of you.
Store the breastmilk in the normal freezer and put your frozen food in the basement. A chest freezer would be fine for this purpose as long as your partner can bend over or you'll happy to be the one to always access it.
If you've got the energy to cook something frozen, you've got the energy to go the basement.
You won't necessarily have that same energy when you need to warm up a packet of milk or banking pumped milk.
A bit of formula and a microwave sterilizer can be a lifesaver for the first two weeks when your partner and baby and learning to breastfeed and building supply, while you have to get them back to their birth weight and keep them eating enough to quickly pass the jaundice.
If you can afford it, Amazon Prime's shipping times are very helpful in the early days when you're figuring stuff out.
Also make sure you discuss and develop a birth plan for different options - music, photography, who will be notified, invited etc. but also the medical aspects of csections, induction, natural birth and emergency csections to help understand your partners desires and help you make more informed decisions if required. Birth trauma is a huge driver of PTSD and post partum anxiety and depression.
People will tell you to take lots of photos because the time goes so quickly - it will go quickly and you'll regret not taking enough photos because you don't have a GoPro strapped to your head. You will then be able to regret not taking enough pictures and can tell other parents to take more pictures, forgetting why you didn't in the first place.
Really wonderful experience in the cozy newborn bubble.
What else? There's some really nice disposable adult post partum diapers you can just rip off, much better than pads and maternity underwear/mesh underwear. Fans and chainsaw noises work quite well to help relax a baby when they're overtired.
