Tbh that's one of the reasons I strongly prefer singleplayer games. Also because if I suck then nobody's there to tell me I suck because I'm a woman and not because I'm just not that good at games unless I pour hundreds of hours into one

In my experience how weird the community is about women kinda depends on the game. Like r/dragonage is absolutely lovely (in my experience!) and I think that's because a lot of the people who still care passionately about it 6 years after the last game came out are women who are into the characters and lore. (Who's the real gamer and who's the casual now ahahhaha...) Like, it has weekly, active fanfic prompts. The Hades community also seems to be good, because the community strikes a nice balance between people who care a lot about the roguelite gameplay mechanics and people who care a lot about Greek myths (and/or are thirsty for all the hot Greek gods).

It's a shame the Among Us subcommunity you found was like that - tbh I wouldn't have expected that either. My Twitter timeline is full of people drawing romance comics between the little blob people lmao, which is something I associate with a woman-friendly community. Hopefully you find a less creepy one eventually...