I might be exaggerating but idk, I went to a public university, software engineering, and I spent hell lot of efforts trying to get good at it, I have a lot of FOSS projects on GitHub, I had to stress myself out because I'm broke af and we only had power like 6 hours a day (I'm in a torn country), I'm not the most social person on Earth but I did reach out to friends and family maybe they know somebody who they could recommend me to, but no answer, only four corps got to interview so far, the rest either send a rejection mail or just ignore my email all along, so yeah it sucks and it kinda feels like I just wasted myself burning myself out for nothing, my family is already frowning upon me for being unemployed and I'm starting to lower my bar for getting a job, but I'm afraid of stucking at a crap job with nowhere to go from there and burn myself even further, it just sucks so much, you just put up with a lot of stress and being so fucking broke and having to push through it hoping it will be at least slightly better but no, then you see people who don't even know the slightest getting a job that you're always getting rejected at, and you gotta keep pushing cause that's your only option, honestly I think I have nothing to lose, a lot of nights I really think about ending it but I don't do it, things only have been going worse for me since forever and it doesn't seem to go anywhere, I'm tired, I know working is probably just sugar coated slavery, but I have nothing and it keeps getting worse for me.

If you read that far thank you I really appreciate it, please don't ask me to go to a therapy I'm literally broke and I have nobody to help me financially (even if you want to help me financially, you can't, I live in a torn country)