i roll out of bed in the morning, already wearing full tactical gear, my kevlar cocoon has kept me safe for another night.

making my way to the kitchen, i duck and weave from cover to cover, careful of the windows, as i clear the hallway and intervening guest bedroom.

i crouch beneath the oak breakfast table as i eat my scambled eggs and toast, glaring balefully at the neighbors outside cat that has come to investigate my hummingbird feeder, hand on the pistol at my side.

BBRRRZZTDINGdingDING

i whip my gun around and unload six rounds through the front door before the bell finishes.

ah shit. it was the mailman again. i put up a sign saying "please knock" but they never learn.