Yeah I also have felt like I just want to escape a lot, like just to fuck off into the woods and live there, because everything just gets so tiring. Between living my entire life in the closet and physical disabilitiy, everything has been bad since I was a teenager and I just want to escape from it all, to be a "normal" person (I know there's no such thing, but I hope you get my point). I don't want to be called a "hero" for undergoing massively invasive medical procedures/surgery in order to get some of my life back, its the only choice I have, other than just giving up and dying. It's just that everything can get so tiring and I want an escape from it all, you know? Hopefully my poorly put together rant is understandable or something