To not have the question of who's to blame hanging over every situation.

I grew up in a very abusive household. Where the question of "who's to dole out punishment on" was at the end of nearly every little situation. Looking back, it was excuses for authority figures to get violent over nonsense "blame/deserve/not deserve" rules. The liberal ideology of "This is just the way it is, and if it isn't, then it's X's fault and they deserve violence. Don't think about it, you dirty thinker. Critique of this system deserves violence." This zero thought produced harmful black and white thinking in me. It also led me to thinking I deserved endless violence and "that's just the way it is." They were always holding back being violent all the time or they let themselves go for it under what was actually their self-excusing system.

A good parent should teach you to ask "who/what caused this" and interrogate everything you can.

  • D61 [any]
    ·
    20 days ago

    Punishment doesn't fix systemic problems. Its cop-think. Its the, "you should just know not to do that", mindset that arises from lazyness or powerlessness. It attempts to give permission to not feel compassion while giving permission to feel superior without actually doing anything.

    somebody walks through house and falls through hole in the floor

    "Serves you right for not avoiding the hole in the floor!"

    versus

    sees hole in floor and wouldn't want to see somebody get hurt falling into the hole in the floor... then fixes hole in the floor so nobody falls into it