[I'm new to c/chat so please remove the post if it isn't fitting for the community. I didn't know where else to post and will gladly move this one if necessary.]
I don't want this to be a long-ass rant, but I gotta air my frustration as I'm (as of now) spending new year's eve alone.
2024 was a shit year, both personally - for a ton of reasons - as well as gestures around you know exactly what I mean. I've been looking for work ever since last year, and that is an absolutely shitty position to be in atm. You know the drill, nobody will hire anyone without work experience but nobody will let you get any experience with pay or at all if you're no longer enrolled in college. So I've been applying to whatever I could get, roughly in the direction of what I've been studying, but there's just no positive feedback. Either it's formulaic "sorry to inform you but..." or "found someone better suited to the position" etc etc.
If you do this long enough, it just becomes a hopelessly worthless routine, and none of your applications feel like they led to anything. So naturally, you complain to family and friends, because hey, those are people who would support you in your time of need, or so you'd think. I've learned the hard lesson on family multiple times already, so it came as no surprise when an aunt told me to "just do the job you were trained for". There's nothing to get there, auntie, at least not if I want to make rent and pay for food, duh. Second thing that pissed me of royally was extended family tonight. Talking around the dinner table about how this year dragged on forever, I was told that it's no surprise I feel that way, because "if you were doing something, time would pass quicker".
Safe to say, I removed myself from the room immediately and hope I can avoid the lot until at least tomorrow morning. Friends aren't really helpful either because they got a job through "friends of the family" or aren't looking for work (yet).
Anyway, I'm typing this because I didn't want to feel alone on New Year's Eve with my sensation of being bullied for not having a job and not having someone to talk to. I hope someone understands.
Edit: You guys have really made me feel a lot less shit with your comments, thank you <3
2024 has been a shitty year. I am not trying to make this about me, but I wanted to share that I and other people are having really shitty times too and you're not alone. The holiday season is supposed to be a cozy happy time, so when things aren't great it feels so much worse. I'm with you friend, you're not alone. I'll be online throughout the day so I'm happy to chat in the thread here. I hope that things get better for you in 2025.
my rant
I am lonelier than I've ever been, and it's really intensifying on new years. I feel like I should be doing great but I'm not. My ex-partner are still living together but co-parenting our kids, I have friends but nobody who I am actually comfortable with opening up to about how isolating this situation is, and my parents who seem oblivious to the idea that we're separated. The only adult interaction I have regularly is from someone who is really looking forward to moving out away from me but just can't yet. I vibed with someone I met but they are seeing someone else and although we are attracted to each other, they seem not that interested in making time for me. It hurts. The last two weeks has really hammered home that I need to find someone who actually likes and wants to be around me, but I'm worried that I'm too old, too annoyingly high energy, too needy, and not stereotypically male enough to find someone I'll bond with.
Thank you, it means a lot to hear that, and I've seen it happen with other friends too. I've always been something of a "therapy friend" to most people, but really, out of my own free will, so still people tell me how they're doing and if I have any advice. Thus it makes it so relieving when someone, upon reading/hearing what I'm going through, just says "I'm with you, you're not alone". It means the world to me, and I'm grateful for it.
Concerning your rant
I think you have every right to talk about this, in this thread as well, and I wish I could do more than express my sympathies, like you have done for me. Stay strong, I believe there are better times ahead for both you and me, as well. What I can tell you, tho, is that every single person I've ever heard say they thought they were "too annoyingly high energy, too needy" are never the ones who should be saying that. The people who are really needy don't acknowledge that, just as much as those who are actually too high energy (and if you can be too high energy is something I find debatable as well). I firmly believe you should never try to represent as something stereotypically assigned to a gender. Rather, try to represent yourself as you feel comfortable, be yourself, and the person(s) who are actually interested in you will cross your way. This counts for both friends and potential romantic partners. I hope this helps, at least a little bit.
Thanks for reading my rant as well and for the kind words. This is one of my needy traits, the need for external validation. So it really means a lot to have my thoughts validated. Which is normal, of course, for everyone.
I think this is part of what you are seeking and can't get from your family as well. Support, validation. I'm really sorry you're not receiving that, it sucks.
And yeah, the gender representation thing, that's specifically a fear about what other people will be looking for and is a part of my brain worms that I'm working on eradicating RFK Jr style.
Anytime, friend, and thank you for understanding as well. I can't properly reply bc otherwise I'll probably start crying
And I know you can work through your brain worms just as much as I can, and have to. We're on a good track, knowing what we have to change about ourselves, and I do feel encouraged, knowing I'm not the only one trying to be kinder to myself, others, and still learning so much about everything.
I just threw on Lord of the Rings for the evening. You mentioned elsewhere you're going to watch Star Trek TOS? Any particular favorite episodes?
A brilliant idea! I hope it's the extended cut?
Oh, favorite episodes is hard to tell, but from what I've rewatched so far, I'd say it's The Devil in The Dark (s01e26).
Yes, the extended cut if course! I think I can get through at least one movie this year.
Devil in the Dark is a classic star trek episode structure! What a great choice. I should watch more TOS. I haven't seen it in probably 20 years