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Keeping the full text, but as I was writing it occurred to me that this probably means I should engage in community building locally. I thought I could do this through a career focused on climate, but like all technical fields in the US I’m seeing that it's just a way to say “we’re working on this” rather than actually doing anything. ___
How do you deal with mornings? I’ve long struggled with morning emotional dysregulation. Most days I try and get out of the house as quickly as possible (if I have to) so I don’t get caught in a spiral of disdain. As long as I can remember I’ve had an extremely low tolerance for social interaction, and even more in the morning.
I thought getting a stimulant would help (I’ve been prescribed for less than a year, so still very green on the topic) but idk if it actually does. I’ve stopped taking them for the past few weeks since I haven’t hoisted up my bootstraps enough to jump through the hoops to have the doctor resend the prescription (THAT THEY HAVE TO DO EVERY FUCKING TIME). Plus what’s the point idk if the efficacy is even there.
I thought I could trick my brain by bribing it with dopamine for getting out of bed with substances.
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Smoking weed daily and vaping, but that hardly seems sustainable either for respiratory health reasons. Plus nicotine has always lost its efficacy very quickly for me, fortunately including withdrawal too, at least. ___
Idk per previous therapists I’ve tried all of the cbt, mindfulness, etc. and I feel like I have a good handle on those. The issue is that when I’m “in touch with my emotions, body, etc.” it’s resolutely pissed at the state of things. I’m obviously very happy and grateful for the life I have in the imperial core (/s) on top of the mountain of corpses of comrades and those I’d be with if I were a less “useful” ND or had a darker complexion.
Maybe this is just another vent post. But I’d love to hear if any of you have good ways of making it through the day.
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I’m 100% cool with smoking enough weed daily to numb myself to everything around me, but that gets expensive, and hardly feels fair to the people I love. ___
Having a sort of ritual in the morning always helps me and is one of my measure of if I'm doing well mentally.
Mine always includes some sort of auditory stimulus — usually music or a podcast. I leave my headphones on my nightstand because the extra stimulus of music makes it substantially easier to get out of bed, and I can usually give myself a few songs to will myself to get up. (Telling myself "okay, I'm waiting for the next one" a few times isn't a problem since songs are only a few minutes.)
If I can accomplish one task that is decidedly For Me before I go to work, I get momentum from the sense of accomplishment that's easy to turn into a good day. For me that's usually some sort of putter cleaning, making an enjoyable breakfast, some small hobby related stuff, or even sitting down and watching an educational video on a topic I've been interested in. When I'm at my best I do this while I'm waiting for my meds to kick in.
Btw, you should see if your doctor will let you email in your prescription refill requests — mine does and it's a godsend. You can even automate it so an email automatically gets sent each month when you're due without you having to remember or Do The Task.
Awesome tips thanks. I had a good, morning music habit that I remember helping, but moved to a new city and didn’t get around to rebuilding that habit.
In conjunction with embracing sobriety, I got an aquarium to plant and maybe raise some invertebrates, in thinking along those lines that it might be a good, morning accomplishment to care for my shrimp mates.
I changed jobs a bit ago and haven’t built a morning routine yet that’s not centered around getting out of the house so I can catch my bus.
That’s a great tip on the meds too. Had a recent insurance change so I’ll keep that in mind since I’m planning to try a local pharmacy rather than a retail. Never thought of automating it, but that’s a fantastic suggestion. Thanks friend!