Working remote made me forget this but hanging around NTs I find one of them will absolutely be unable to suppress making a shitty comment to me usually about my face or something "oh gorb you should smile, whats the matter you look upset" I'M LITERALLY JUST EXISTING FUCK OFF.
Today was annoying because I was just behaving the same way i always behave and this turd burgler decides to exclaim to the room that they never see me act like this amd that i should do it more.... I'm literally just doing what I do every day the same way I do it and have done it for the last 10 years like what?
Can't people just like leave me alone and stop trying to police my every action and facial expression because it isn't exactly what they want. And why me? Why not pick on some other nobhead do i just emenate "pick on me" aura or something?
Felt. Felt so much
For me, it’s quickly becoming a case of “how did this stigbandit guy make it so far?” He never goes out with the coworkers or wants to come into the office, so why did we hire him again?”
I was under the impression that if I completed my assignments/tasks at work on time and as efficiently as possible, there wouldn’t be a problem. Like, Godamn. This cliquey bullshit will follow me to the grave
Working remote made me forget this but hanging around NTs I find one of them will absolutely be unable to suppress making a shitty comment to me usually about my face or something “oh gorb you should smile, whats the matter you look upset” I’M LITERALLY JUST EXISTING FUCK OFF.
This is when you bear teeth. It's deeply disturbing for NTs and they won't ask again 💖
I'm sorry your colleagues suck.
I feel that way everyday, as an Autistic Person. I will constantly be judged for not smiling enough, for speaking stoically all the time, for being shy, for not "Being Positive Enough", for not giving in to NT Standards of "Positive Vibes Only" and for always being shy and diffident when speaking.
What I feel, I have called, exhaustion from not fitting in with Neurotypical standards, and standards of social conduct, from always talking confidently, giving a false smile no matter how much you feel the opposite of happy, and being forced to shake a hand no matter how much I despise nonconsensual physical contact (I can't count how many times my family members forced me to hug another just because "it is polite").
I have also been bullied by kids growing up, which gave me a permanently tainted view of children. I don't see children as innocent, I see them as always being potential bullies. Perhaps, what I could be feeling is very low self esteem, where I internalized people's judging and nitpicking about every little thing I do.
They demand we spend every moment in their presence performing to an exact unspoken standard on pain of public humiliation, then wonder why we don't want to socialize.
Although to be fair, I was a shy and introverted boy even before facing that pain of public humiliation. That was why I was very untalkative and had no friends growing up.
"oh gorb you should smile, whats the matter you look upset"
"Ain't nothing to smile about since I'm broke lol" And you then pivot the entire conversation to how you need money to pay the bills and shit and if only a good Samaritan can give you something extra and then stare expectantly at the passive aggressive asshole. Do it enough times, and they'll mostly leave you alone since nobody likes to be repeatedly asked for money. Of course, your reputation will completely tank especially if you're in some white collar corporate environment where you get penalized for signaling that you're poor.
