Getting to know a meta more closely? Finally attending that local polyam meetup you've been eyeing for the last 2 years? Coming out to your family about your other partners?
It's a new year and I thought it would be fun to share some goals we have and some things were looking forward to in 2025! Maybe some folks here have some experiences they can share with you about your goals or excitements for the year and we can all help each other continue to grow!
This is a perfect time for newbies or folks curious about polyamory to learn and possibly explore your own feelings around it, so feel free to chime in (respectfully!) if you've got questions about what someone is saying!
Just trying not to be used for cheating this year. I'd like to make more friends and maybe date, but I'm gonna try to be more aware of red flags and yellow flags. I'm trying to be more trusting, but there's a balance that I gotta find. On the flip side, I feel a lot more seen now that I'm not surrounded by white people. I actually get hit on sometimes and that makes me really happy.
Sounds like your year! Always work to do in life but it sounds like you've got yourself in a good community now and that's one of the most important things I think
I've been living polyamoric since breaking up with my monogamous partner like 1.5 years back
Got involved with someone also polyamoric but we both haven't actually had more than 1 romantic involvement at a time.
So goal is to actually do something polyamoric that wouldn't be possible when monogamous, lol
Never heard the term polyamoric...is this somehow different from polyamory? Just curious!
I know a bunch of polyam folks who are functionally monogamous even though they could have other relationships. Nothing wrong with working on one at a time, sounds like you've got one solid relationship and so maybe you've got some space to invest in more! That's exciting, best of luck to you!
I don't know, what's the adverb to the noun "polyamory"? I thought it was polyamoric
"Something is nice", "you did that nicely"
"I practice polyamory", "i live polyamorily"???
Polyamorously would be the way most people phrase it I think! To be polyamorous.
Does it show that English isn't my first language? Amd that I don't talk much about polyamory? :D thanks <3
No. These are just words not in the common lexicon, so native speakers would also struggle here.
Oh and thanks, to you too :)
I basically already love multiple people and only them not being poly stops anything from happening romantically. It's nice to have the option now :)
For me I'm pretty much at relationship saturation so I'm really trying to dig into the relationships I've got (partners, metas, and friends) and get to know and explore the depth in those relationships. I've had metas express to me lately that they've wanted to spend more time together with me and I want to really make the intentional time to do it!
I'm also kinda on the periphery of 2 other polycules and I want to dig into the potential friendships there too. It's gonna be a busy social year for me I think but I'm looking forward to really deepening some of these connections!
Also I wanna try to post more here but I know how thats gone historically
Question for people here: How much do you talk about relationships with partners to your other partners?
My main partner and I informally have a sort of "dont ask don't tell" policy where we just dont want to incite any unnecessary jealousy. We are okay talking about these things, but largely don't. Is this healthy/unhealthy?
Kinda depends on what type of polyam you are! What you're doing is what most folks refer to as "parallel poly" where you sort of do your polyamory things in parallel to each other. I know lots of people who do it that way and do it that way ethically and it's fine.
I personally do kitchen table poly, where not only do I talk to my partners about my other partners, in most cases they're all friends. I hang out with my metamours and they hang out with each other and we all hang out and it's fine. I much prefer this sort of polyamory...first it's nice to have kinda a free built in community of your partners' partners, and secondly at least for me I think there's a lot of value in confronting that jealousy and facing it head on. It can be tougher up front but long term I think it's a better recipe for success. It doesn't feel like we're hiding anything when we're all just hanging out. Plus it's nice to actually know my partners' partners and be friends with them (although admittely that part isn't always possible). It makes me feel less jealous when I'm like "Aw, my partner is hanging out with other cool people, I'm happy for them!" It leads to opportunities for compersion which is a nice feeling. I'm having a birthday next week and all of my partners will be there, as will some of their partners (who are just my friends at this point), and also my friends. I get to just be surrounded and out in the open as my truest self with all the people I love the most. It's awesome.
Ultimately what you and your partner have in your agreement is up to you, but I'd always encourage folks to discuss and wade into a more kitchen table style. Even if you never actually meet each other's partners or hang out with them, it can feel a little better to the long term health of the relationship to talk about them. That's totally just my opinion though, as long as you two have an agreement and that agreement feels ethical and healthy to you two then really nobody has any right to judge it.
I personally do kitchen table poly, where not only do I talk to my partners about my other partners, in most cases they're all friends.
I like this idea, but due to logistical constraints, this isnt possible for us right now. Only real potential barrier for me is the awkwardness of rejecting someone if my main partner wants to include someone I'm not attracted to. We are both bi, but def have different tastes, so I see that as likely.
I think there's a lot of value in confronting that jealousy and facing it head on.
I agree. I'm not very jealous regardless. More just a result of neither of us wanting to accidentally induce jealousy. The "don't ask don't tell" esque policy is more just an emergent property of that rather than being a formal policy.
I get to just be surrounded and out in the open as my truest self with all the people I love the most. It's awesome.
wholesome as fuck!
Ultimately what you and your partner have in your agreement is up to you, but I'd always encourage folks to discuss and wade into a more kitchen table style.
I think we will end up adopting this, but only when external circumstances change. Rn my main partner is living outside the country, so we keep our relationship alive and hookup with others on occasion, while making frequent visits to see each other.
