Haha, no, I'm a recovered heroin addict and work with addicts and this approach of "I'll only ever help you if you submit to a round of withdrawals to show you're worth helping," is only one attitude among many.
I think some recovered addicts look back on their own experience and think "yes when I got sober it was because things were really awful and I finally got serious and other addicts can only get clean if things are awful enough [rock bottom myth] ...and if they fail they are not 'serious.'"
Perhaps that was indeed true for you, but it wasn't for me and it's not for many people. I made several extremely serious attempts at sobriety before I was successful. The time I got and stayed clean was not the lowest point in my addiction history.
The most important thing in my mind for helping addicts is making them feel like they are still a part of a community and they have value and that getting sober would mean they could connect to that community even more and fufill all that potential. So... treating them as adult human beings.: "If I had the money to spare to help you, I would, because i know you're in a tough spot, but I'm trying to be there for a few different people... and I can't be of financial assistance, only emotional and transport assistance." Which is true... if I were a millionaire I'd absolutely give them money. Withholding money and resources does not cure addiction. We wish it were that simple. Research shows addicts are more likely to recover if they have more resources. actually. So much for rock bottom...
I also hope you'll look at the research on different ways of treating opiate addiction. "Inpatient" is usually not the most effective treatment model. Outpatient, Medication- Assisted Therapy (buprenorphine/Suboxone) over 1-2 years combined with one- on- one addiction counseling has the highest success rate. It allows addicts to learn how to be sober in the context of their own lives, and avoids withdrawals - severe withdrawals decrease success.
I respect you and your experience, which is why I think it's worth discussing the differences in approach.
I definitely wanted to get sober. I think most people who say they want to get sober are telling the truth. It's just very, very hard to accomplish. There's a lot of immediate suffering for what's hopefully a long term payoff - and that's the exact opposite of the addiction mindset, you know?
So I kept trying, and eventually succeeded. I definitely used again after the worst period (which you can only identify in retrospect). I learned a little each attempt and the final one was a lucky combination and I had a shred of hope for the future.
Which is why I really think giving addicts resources, support, and hope is a better bet than the framing that negative things are happening and will keep happening until they get sober. (And I'm not saying it's a dichotomy and you're all about the latter).
And of course you can and should only help in the ways that are safe and healthy for you. It's so common for recovered addicts to want to work with other addicts but it has its dangers too, which we must stay vigilant about. Not helping because it's unhealthy for you is a good enough reason all in its own! It's independent from the question of whether or would help or hurt the addict.
Haha, no, I'm a recovered heroin addict and work with addicts and this approach of "I'll only ever help you if you submit to a round of withdrawals to show you're worth helping," is only one attitude among many.
I think some recovered addicts look back on their own experience and think "yes when I got sober it was because things were really awful and I finally got serious and other addicts can only get clean if things are awful enough [rock bottom myth] ...and if they fail they are not 'serious.'"
Perhaps that was indeed true for you, but it wasn't for me and it's not for many people. I made several extremely serious attempts at sobriety before I was successful. The time I got and stayed clean was not the lowest point in my addiction history.
The most important thing in my mind for helping addicts is making them feel like they are still a part of a community and they have value and that getting sober would mean they could connect to that community even more and fufill all that potential. So... treating them as adult human beings.: "If I had the money to spare to help you, I would, because i know you're in a tough spot, but I'm trying to be there for a few different people... and I can't be of financial assistance, only emotional and transport assistance." Which is true... if I were a millionaire I'd absolutely give them money. Withholding money and resources does not cure addiction. We wish it were that simple. Research shows addicts are more likely to recover if they have more resources. actually. So much for rock bottom...
I also hope you'll look at the research on different ways of treating opiate addiction. "Inpatient" is usually not the most effective treatment model. Outpatient, Medication- Assisted Therapy (buprenorphine/Suboxone) over 1-2 years combined with one- on- one addiction counseling has the highest success rate. It allows addicts to learn how to be sober in the context of their own lives, and avoids withdrawals - severe withdrawals decrease success.
I respect you and your experience, which is why I think it's worth discussing the differences in approach.
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I definitely wanted to get sober. I think most people who say they want to get sober are telling the truth. It's just very, very hard to accomplish. There's a lot of immediate suffering for what's hopefully a long term payoff - and that's the exact opposite of the addiction mindset, you know?
So I kept trying, and eventually succeeded. I definitely used again after the worst period (which you can only identify in retrospect). I learned a little each attempt and the final one was a lucky combination and I had a shred of hope for the future.
Which is why I really think giving addicts resources, support, and hope is a better bet than the framing that negative things are happening and will keep happening until they get sober. (And I'm not saying it's a dichotomy and you're all about the latter).
And of course you can and should only help in the ways that are safe and healthy for you. It's so common for recovered addicts to want to work with other addicts but it has its dangers too, which we must stay vigilant about. Not helping because it's unhealthy for you is a good enough reason all in its own! It's independent from the question of whether or would help or hurt the addict.